Here comes a controversial topic right here, of which you all constantly criticize me for. The mystery behind why I like (deeply love) Sir Daniel Fortesque. Well, before I get into any detail, let me ask you this. Why do you all love Master Chief so much? To me he is boring and overrated, I mean he hardly talks, he looks like a guy in dirtbike armor, and he is in an overrated average husk of a game. I am sorry, but he just doesn’t appeal to me. A certain element of mystery is acceptable, but when the character doesn’t do anything out of the ordinary it really just annoys me. Anyway, back to Sir Dan, because you all just seem to hate him dearly. Just look at him, he is a skeleton (skeletons are awesome), he has one eye and he kills zombies. Where in Khorne’s name can you play a zombie game where you play as a skeleton? That totally defies the physics of games, because generally in most zombie games you get some generic guy with two guns, who says nothing except for cheesy diologue. Ya, I know most of you are probably sitting back in the glow of your computer screen laughing your asses off right now, because those aren’t sufficient reasons, but hey, let me list the real reasons of why I think Dan pwns (even though those are some elements as well).
Like I said before, look at Dan himself. Yes, he might just be a skeleton with one eye in some knight’s armor, but hey, looks can be deceiving. Besides, most of you probably don’t get my morbid sense of awesomeness. I have always liked skeletons ever since I was just a young Padawan, and I doubt that will ever change. Sir Dan was a really big breath of fresh air for me, because at the time most characters were really generic (except for Boba Fett, Darth Vader, and Indiana Jones who I also dearly loved, and still do to this day). In the second game he gets this really kickass golden armor, which really compliments his golden shield in my opinion. You know when you see him in that armor he is going to kick some hardcore ass.
His story is just hilarious, I mean you expect the main character of a game to be some triumphant, heroic, manly hunk of muscle when Dan is the exact opposite. He was the leader of a milita of knights, and in a battle against the evil necromancer Zarok, he was the first one to fall as he was struck in the left eye with an arrow. the king of Gallomere was embarrased at this, so he changed everything and made him look like a hero, even though he was pretty much cannon fodder (or in this case, arrow fodder). Talk about hilarious. One of his most important battles, and he gets killed at the first line of arrows. Sure, he sucked when he was alive, but in the first game he makes a point that he is badass. He didn’t use guns until the second game, and he can even use his own arm as a weapon. Master Chief just blindly shot at everything, he didn’t have the balls to take on an army of zombies using mediocre armor and medieval weapons. Sir Dan also manages to speak (or more accurately, mumble) with no jaw at all. Talk about determination, I mean Sir Dan has no jaw yet he manages to talk, while Master Chief has a perfectly good jaw and he says sh!t. What a load of ass on Halo’s part.
Look at his weapons. Could you imagine how fun it would be to go around smashing zombies with a giant hammer? A hammer that could possibly be equivalent to a Gravity Hammer? What about a giant glowing blue sword that has the durability of a lightsaber and is the size of Soul Edge? Or a giant battle axe that magically come back to you every time you throw it? Or a ball of lightning that surrounds your hand that you can shoot like Force Lightning? Or even a gatling gun? Yes, a f#cking gatling gun. Anyway, he has the most awesome weapon set, and he must be pretty strong if he can lift all of these weapons with no connecting tissue at all. Even better yet, he can stun people just by running into them, like actually cause them to see stars and such. You can even kill enemies like this, and it is fun as hell (didn’t know hell was that fun…). His hammer is just pure win, is makes zombies fly back about ten feet with a small shockwave of purple…whatever the purple energy field is. His magic sword kills zombies in one hit, so he could just cut down an army of zombies which numbers in the millions with no problem. His golden shield is pretty cool too, as it protects Dan from anything any character in any universe can throw at him (Gorechild couldn’t even do anything to it). He also has his dragon armor that makes him impervious to heat and flames, and in addition to that it turns his skull into a dragon head that lets him breathe fire. That is just awesome.
Well Factpile readers, there are my reasons for this. You still may hate me for liking Dan, and you all may hate Dan himself. But here, let me just leave you with this picture as you finish reading this.
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June 22, 2009
#1
“You still may hate me for liking Dan, and you all may hate Dan himself. But here, let me just leave you with this picture as you finish reading this.”
Hate you? Talk about a case of narcissism.
June 22, 2009
#2
Hey i like dan hated the bloody pumpkin level tho kept gettin lost
it was one of my most favorite games until i lost it i never got number 2 because i could never find it
ill be back
June 22, 2009
#3
ok back
he is also awesome because no one ever expects him to be good but then he puts on the dragon armor and he burns their faces off
oh and the one bit that made me laught the hardest is near where u get the crossbow in number one and it looks like there is a giant robor that u need to kill
then he turns around and its this little gnome guy lol
DAN ROCKS
June 22, 2009
#4
Meh.
I am not much for cartoon-like adventure characters. This is the same reason why I never got into Earthworm Jim, Oddworld’s Abe, or any other such. I get their appeal, but I just don’t get it.
A skeletal knight? Sure, that sounds decent enough.
A skeletal knight with a gatlin gun and magical chicken drumsticks? No thanks. Pass.
In any case. I long accepted your love for Dan, and this was a decent enough article. Good job.
———————————————————–
Hey, this might be a bit off topic, but I just wanted to make sure you knew who the new Sorcerer Supreme was:
http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=21674
June 22, 2009
#5
Ah, Sir Dan Fortesque. He needs more games made for the current/next gen. A breathe of fresh air surrounded by game after game of sodding WW2 in the future gaming.
Good article Baron, twas a fun read.
June 22, 2009
#6
he not that bad, only good ps1 one game i had back in the day. But now i got a 360 with loads of good games like kotor, kotor 2, saints row, saints row 2, fable, fable 2 lots more aswell and ofcourse halo 1 and 2 but i don`t got halo 3 anymore why did i have to trade it for gta 4 it was the worst deal ever ohh and i still got it medieval for psp don’t know wheather it number 1 or 2 or what though but it got a dragon in it though so that good enough for me
June 22, 2009
#7
@Matapiojo
The only reason he gets a gatling gun is because he got risen again in the 1800’s…
@everyone else
Thanks for reading, and no L-W I just have low expectations of myself when it comes to interactions with others
June 22, 2009
#8
Meh.
Master Chief is only really loved by the fanboys. Shinji Ikari’s my favorite hero for the simple reason that he reacts realistically to his situation. People tend to call him a whiny bitch, but in the same situation, they’d probably whine more.
Dan’s way too cartoony for my liking. As if they threw a bunch of gimmicks together and called it a character.
Not one of the best, but a good article nonetheless.
June 22, 2009
#9
Sorry, I should explain why I sort of disliked the article. It’s not the writing really, but the topic and tone. This will sound pretty blunt, but I assure you it isn’t meant to come off that way; nobody really cares. It isn’t a poor subject for a forum discussion, but the topic is too personal for an article. If it were a more broad topic like the state of modern heroes or you’d elaborated on your dislike for the more relevant (not necessarily good) character of Master Chief, it might attract more general interest.
This is all my opinion, but take it as constructive criticism.
June 22, 2009
#10
Thanks Thepoc, maybe now I will think better…
June 22, 2009
#11
“I just have low expectations of myself when it comes to interactions with others”
So you have a low self-esteem?
June 22, 2009
#12
I have never seen Dan till I joind this sight. What game is he in? and for what sytems. I have a 360 and Wii(Which can count as a gamecube too)
June 22, 2009
#13
Pretty much…I really have no friends and too many people think I’m weird
June 22, 2009
#14
Oh and Dan is on the original PS1 and the PSP, they also released Medievil on the Playstation store
June 22, 2009
#15
Unlike a few of the other people on here, I have no real problem with cartoony characters. Crash Badicoot is actually an old time favourite of mine and you can safely say he’s pretty ridiculous.
As for the article itself, it was a nice light read (personally I can rarely be bothered to read very long articles). Shame to here about your self-esteem, you actually sound like the kind of person I wish there was more of round here. Not enough people appreciate chicken drumstick throwing skeletons and such.
June 22, 2009
#16
“Pretty much…I really have no friends and too many people think I’m weird”
I get that. Just try to spin it like you’re a badass who doesn’t follow anyone’s rules and people come flocking. I’ve found being a guy who knows every conspiracy theory ever concocted comes off as much cooler when you wear black, lead on then dump popular girls, and generally act like an asshole to most people. With a little image tweaking, I basically went from outcast to center of attention within a month.
June 22, 2009
#17
So you act like an ass to people? What’s the point of that? I already wear black (including a trenchcoat) but I’m not one of those dumbass “goth” people…I hate mostly everyone and well I think they have returned the favor
June 22, 2009
#18
“knows every conspiracy theory ever concocted ”
The Illuminati?
June 22, 2009
#19
To Baron Somebody:
Darn I really wanted to play that game. I have a match idea you want too be a apart of it?
June 22, 2009
#20
Sure…and lol at Swifterdeath
June 22, 2009
#21
@Matapiojo
DAMN!!! The Sorceror Supreme looks awesome!!! How powerful in the Marvel universe is he? For some reason I got the Sorceror Supreme mixed with with Dr Strange
June 22, 2009
#22
To everyone else:
I’m sorry I disappointed, I just thought you all might wanna know why I think Dan is awesome…if I do get an article spot (which I know highly doubt) it won’t be as “lame” as this one…so sorry to everyone
June 23, 2009
#23
“(Gorechild couldn’t even do anything to it).”
…
Are you shitting me?
June 23, 2009
#24
Interesting. Hey Admin!!! I got a question. I got a story I’m coming up with and the details aren’t finished. However I’ve only told a few friends about the idea and they said they liked it, but I want to see if other “normal people” would like it, and seeing some of these articles makes me wonder if I could put it up on this site to see what people think. So would that somehow be possible?
Be sure to stop back here on Friday! – Admin
June 23, 2009
#25
“So you act like an ass to people? What’s the point of that? I already wear black (including a trenchcoat) but I’m not one of those dumbass “goth” people…I hate mostly everyone and well I think they have returned the favor”
I act like an ass to people who act superior. Mouthing off at the most popular and “tough” people you know shows everyone that you’re confident. Hence finding some skank who’s super popular and thinks she’ll be boosted by dating the next big thing and dumping her, proving to everyone that you’re above them. It may sound elitist, but I do despise most people I know. A friend of mine refers to them as “the sheep” for blindly following trends and desperately trying to be cool while we sit back and chuckle.
Basically, and this WILL sound like a PSA, be yourself in a really blunt, in your face way. People respect that.
June 23, 2009
#26
Oh man Baron, you got it all mixed.
The Sorcerer Supreme is a title that has been known for a long time to belong to Dr. Strange. However, recent events have had the Eye of Agamoto abandon Dr. Strange as the Sorcerer Supreme, and finding a new vessel for Earth’s magic.
The new Sorcerer Supreme, and the one in that pic, is none other than your beloved Brother Voodoo. Here is a preview of how he gets selected for the job (just launch the viewer):
http://www.newsarama.com/php/multimedia/album.php?aid=28905
Brother Voodoo will have a new ongoing series called Doctor Voodoo: Avenger of the Supernatural written by the phenomenal Rick Remender. This book begs to be good, and totally up your alley.
June 23, 2009
#27
Seeing so many children complain about their petty and nigh ridiculous social dilemmas online to others reminds me that we have World Wars for a reason.
There is no such thing as a support group when you’re stuck in a foxhole kids.
June 23, 2009
#28
“Mouthing off at the most popular and “tough” people you know shows everyone that you’re confident.”
As opposed to mouthing off to the relatively less tough people to solidify your own feeling of self importance?
No doubt replied to with “Thats not what I’m doing, don’t second guess my motives, i’m just telling it like it is, etc etc”
Thepocalypse, chill. Baron Somebody wrote this, its an entertaining if narrow focused read.
You have written something more suited to your own view of worth, so please do so more often. Lets just keep the bitterness to our own corners of the land shall we.
Geeks of the world unite and all that.
June 23, 2009
#29
Wow Sir Daniel Fortesque to self esteem and World Wars LOL.
June 23, 2009
#30
As the randomness of this post flows, I might as add to it so here goes:
Wow, I didn’t know that I’m not the only person who doesn’t sleep. I’m shocked to see some of these posts at this time.
June 23, 2009
#31
@space marine No, I’m not, so ha your beloved Kharn doesn’t have shit on that shield
June 23, 2009
#32
“I act like an ass to people who act superior. Mouthing off at the most popular and “tough” people you know shows everyone that you’re confident. Hence finding some skank who’s super popular and thinks she’ll be boosted by dating the next big thing and dumping her, proving to everyone that you’re above them. It may sound elitist, but I do despise most people I know. A friend of mine refers to them as “the sheep” for blindly following trends and desperately trying to be cool while we sit back and chuckle.
Basically, and this WILL sound like a PSA, be yourself in a really blunt, in your face way. People respect that.”
I remember a time where I was like that..but then I moved to Colorado and well I kinda lost my “spark” I guess you could say…but now since I am more comfortable in my surroundings it will come back once again, and I guarantee some heads will be smashed into walls repeatedly…
Anyway, hey Mata, “Dr Voodoo” doesn’t look like the normal Brother Voodoo…oh and oen more thing, since Brother Voodoo is the new Sorceror Supreme does that make him able to defeat Dr Doom, or Galactus or Kharn?
June 23, 2009
#33
@L-W
You haven’t seen the amount of ridiculousness I have…my sister went out with this guy and after the third day said “My heart only beats for you”…he broke up with her yesterday and I tried to tell her he’s only in it to get some lol
June 23, 2009
#34
@Jwlynas
I gave him constructive criticism, that’s called being “helpful” perhaps a new concept to you.
As for how I live my life, it simply proves that a geek doesn’t have to be an outcast… so unless your philosophy is that all people should be doormats, I’d ask you not to intrude upon my conversation.
June 23, 2009
#35
To Baron Somebody:
What are your three favorite characters of anything?
June 23, 2009
#36
Sir Dan, Glitch (from Metal Arms), and most likely Darth Vader…I can’t really limit them to three as I also like Boba Fett, Yoshimitsu, Crypto 137, Durge, Dingodile, and a vast plethora of others
June 23, 2009
#37
Contrary to popular belief, or at least the beliefs of those who give it, criticism is not always constructive. Sometimes its merely critical.
Geeks don’t have to be outcasts right enough, but they don’t have to act like chavs/jocks/townies/whatever the “popular” kids of today are called either. Surprisingly enough, most people respond pretty well to charm, which is easy to fake and won’t get any particular set of individuals pissed at you and may even get you a few otherwise lost cause friends.
Then again, different strokes for different folks.
As to intruding on your conversation, it seems your advice is to be the kind of person who would instantly intrude on a conversation if it seemed you have an imput.
Just saying.
June 23, 2009
#38
“Anyway, hey Mata, “Dr Voodoo” doesn’t look like the normal Brother Voodoo…oh and oen more thing, since Brother Voodoo is the new Sorceror Supreme does that make him able to defeat Dr Doom, or Galactus or Kharn?”
Well, as of right now I couldn’t rightly say yes or no to that. The truth is that while he now wields far more power than he ever did, he still does not know how to use it. It will be a learning process.
If I had to give you a definitive answer right now, I would say that he could not defeat any of those, but in due time he might. We will have to keep our eyes peeled onto this.
Well…perhaps not Galactus, hehehehe.
June 23, 2009
#39
@Mata
How powerful was Dr Strange then? Oh and before I say anything else might I just ask you but how was this article to you? Because I mean I think my Empire one did well and I don’t wanna lose my place to have an article section on this site…I already have an idea for a third article, which once again will deal with Star Wars
June 23, 2009
#40
@Jwlynas
“Charm”. In high school. Be serious here. This isn’t meeting with developed people, this is being forced to deal with an army of immature, shallow tools for most of your year. I say, why not have a little fun with them? I’m not interested in other people’s conversations, though I may laugh loudly if someone says something stupid. My point is, you get some intelligent friends (diamonds in the rough in this world) sit back, and watch the show. Stupid people exist for my amusement. It’s literally why they are alive.
June 23, 2009
#41
@Thepocalypse – Of course in highschool (What is that age wise? We have primary/seconday/sixth form/college/university here, I’m not familiar with other educational places)
I’m… ok, not always, but generally I’m being serious.
Having “fun” as you put it breeds contempt, contempt leads to full on hatred, hatred leads to cliched statements and those lead to friends being waylaid in the street and beaten half to death.
I’ve tried the “Confident, slightly harsh but ultimately more intelligent than fellow students” approach. Sadly it only works in some circumstances. Being generally likable if a little forgettable barring to people who matters (Friends, family, cheerleaders with an IQ above that of the average brick wall) works a damn sight better.
Ah, I miss education sometimes.
And on topic, Bring on more of these Baron. Your articles always keep my attention throughout.
June 23, 2009
#42
Baron Somebody:
Okay you can pick 4 if you want I like Master Chief, Wolverine, The Arbiter. So how about if we ask admin if we have ur 3/4 vs. my 3/4?
June 24, 2009
#43
@Baron
The good Dr. was one of the most powerful beings on the planet and perhaps even many of its connecting dimensions. This degree of power aparently has “abandoned” him and moved onto your boy, Brother Voodoo.
Strange is still a powerful sorcerer that retains all the knowledge of the spells hes been using through his position as Sorcerer Supreme, but he doesn’t have as much juice to back them up. His flames burn a little less hot, his portals remain active a little less time. His astral travels will be for shorter distances. And so on.
It has been rumored that he will act as a type of mentor to “Doctor Voodoo” initially. Time will only tell where these two will be led by Marvel’s creative teams, but you can rest asured that they are in good hands. Remender writing Doctor Voodoo, and Mark Waid writing the miniseries Strange only promises to leave these two major players in Marvel’s mystic realm in a good place.
I hope Voodoo’s run is a long one. I enjoy the dynamic of the two brothers interacting as one entity, but then again, that is the sort of character I like: Johnny Blaze and Danny Ketch as hosts to the Ghost Riders, Donald Blake as host to Thor, and Bruce Banner as “host” to Hulk. I like characters with complex internal conflicts that are not necesarily their own as opposed to the endless drama characters like Spiderman always bring to the page.
————————————————————————
As for your article,
I thought it was entertaining, but there is truth in the comments above. I think you should look for a bit more objectivity for your topics. This piece felt more like an individual post you would write as a response to justify your personal likes.
I think that an analysis on the appeal of “toon” characters, or a rant on the more “realistic” characters would have been a little stronger topics while still driving your point across.
In any case, I still see value in you being an ongoing contributor to the site should admin decide it so. In truth, my personal opinion is that even though a contest was the catalist for us to write for the site (or ExpertImp’s exploits, whatever the case may be), there need not be a single article selected as an ongoing feature. There are many days in the week, and many weeks in the month. I’m sure we can all share the space equally.
I will say something to all the writters participating in this. We should work a bit more on the graphics intended to go with your article. That is arguably the one element that separates your piece from being worthy of a spot on the front page than from being worthy of the Forums.
Sure, there are other points to take into consideration, and I’m sure there is a method to admin’s madness, but that is the single most obvious difference between the two. Put a little more effort into the images that go allong with your words on the front page. They are as important as the article’s title on this site.
June 24, 2009
#44
“Having “fun” as you put it breeds contempt, contempt leads to full on hatred, hatred leads to cliched statements and those lead to friends being waylaid in the street and beaten half to death.”
If you live in a PSA. In real life it leads to people having their own groups of friends which happens inevitably. If two people have clashing personalities, I find it better to admit it than act like you’re best friends with some jerk who beats on your friends.
BTW, where’s Rob? He hasn’t been around in ages.
June 24, 2009
#45
@Thepocalypse – Rob is still recovering from the beat-down I gave him the other night on Halo 3 followed by some teabagging…
June 24, 2009
#46
@admin- I’ll take you on Halo 3 when I get X-box live.
Looking forward to it! – Admin
June 25, 2009
#47
“No, I’m not, so ha your beloved Kharn doesn’t have shit on that shield”
If He can’t get through it(he can MWAHAHAH!) He would just take it off him and beat him to death with it!
MILK FOR THE KHORNE FLAKES!
June 25, 2009
#48
@Space Marine
That’s more like it…
June 25, 2009
#49
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfC69UMQLeQ
Admin! You can’t teabag! Thats necrophillia or some CRAZY shit like that lol.
July 14, 2009
#50
When I was around 4-6, I owned a Play Station with the first game on it. Medieval. A decade or so later, I own a Play Station Portable with Medievil Ressurrection. You’re indefinitely right about sir Dan, I find I like him due to what you stated, and I have a familiarity with him. He was a coward in real life, but after he failed the first try he got a second chance and did well. I’m like that, at first I’ll be scared, but after the first time, it’s smooth sailing. I really hope they make a psp version of ME 2 soon.
August 15, 2009
#51
The real question in my mind is: Why didn’t Sir Dan become just another mindless zombie when Zarok used his spell? What made him different from all the other corpses?