I found a few interesting scans from the Japanese Wii Safety Manual. These pictures have been kickin’ around the net for a while. I’m not sure why people would find these funny. If anything, they are very clear in terms of the message they are trying to deliver. Let me help clarify things.

“Do not smack your friends in the face with the Wiimote. If anything, use the Nunchuk.”

“The Wii should be watered down using fruit punch rather than orange juice.”

“When trying to commit suicide with the Wiimote, wrap the chord around both sides of the neck.”

“Do not fall in love with the Wii. It will scorn your love and leave you a broken man.”

“Wii cigarette breaks should last no longer than 5 minutes.”

“Do not allow the Wii to dress up as Obi-Wan Kenobi, no matter how purple your lawn is.”

“The Wii hates Saint Patrick’s Day and Irish people in general.”

“In the event that you purchased Ninja Breadman with your system, do not kill yourself.”

“In situations of economic hardship, please do not eat the sensor cord.”

“Although the Spice Girls are back together, please do not attempt to put together the cd you smashed when they broke up.”

“Do not allow the Wii to sell bags of towels on a street corner.”

“Prolonged exposure to the system may allow you the ability to shoot electricity from your foot.”