Space Marine Vs Boba Fett
July 3, 2009 by admin · 20 Comments
Finally, after many requests, we have the Space Marine against the great bounty hunter Boba Fett. The fanboy in me wants Fett to win despite any logic that will follow in the comments.
Let the battle begin.
The Stormtrooper Fallacy: Endor
July 1, 2009 by admin · 21 Comments
[Warning: The following is a cohesive prose intended to alter cultural bias and perception. Prepare to have you mind blown.]
A subtle thought that is in error may yet give rise to fruitful inquiry that can establish truths of great value.
- Isaac Asimov
The Stormtrooper, the elite shock troopers of the Galactic Empire, the right hand of the Emperor himself; trained in a gravity well that could crush the average human, these bad boys of the Empire are the toughest, meanest and most zealously loyal troops in the Imperial military. Numbering in the trillions and carrying the deadliest weapons into battle, the Stormtrooper Corps is the furled fist of the Empire, coiled and ready to sucker punch the Galaxy in her Ovaries.
Yet despite their unit-for-unit reliability, detractors continue to lambaste the performance of the overall Corps for one distinct reason known by all as the Teddy Bear incident™. The Battle of Endor proved to be a disaster for the Empire, which despite only a limited loss in material and manpower sparked an internal power struggle that came close to toppling the regime only until recently. Yet despite her continued perseverance, despite the countless successful engagements and occupations; the storming of Hoth, the capture of the Tantive IV and the occupation of a Galaxy over 120,000 light years in diameter, the Stormtrooper Corps will never live down the single blemish known colloquially by cynics and fans alike as “That bit with the Teddy Bears”. In fact the overall incident came to be known as the Stormtrooper effect, also called Stormtrooper syndrome, an expression used to describe the cliché phenomenon in works of fiction of minor cannon fodder characters being completely ineffective in combat against characters important to the plot (protagonists). This ineffectiveness is typically visible as an inability to successfully strike the target with ranged weapons, even at close range. Though obviously unrealistic, the effect is common in many stories and movies.
Ultimately this leads us to narrow down the phenomenon to only a few select properties:
A) Are Stormtroopers incompetent? No, they’ve repeatedly demonstrated their title as elite shock troopers.
B) Are Stormtroopers well equipped/trained? Of course, they receive the best possible training/equipment available to a military unit several trillion strong.
C) Are Stormtroopers human? Mostly, thus the mistakes that they make are dependent on naturally occurring flaws, despite their intensive training.
During the Endor battle, the most likely reason for their loss is simple overconfidence. Outside the bunker, they were felled by simple plain old Jane overconfidence, no tricks or techno babble, they were simply destroyed by their underestimation of enemy strength. Their light armament reveals deplorable overconfidence (The scout troopers had handguns, the Stormtroopers had carbines, and they didn’t bother carrying any of the heavy weapons we saw in previous films), so it’s really no surprise that they were so easily ambushed and overwhelmed when a third of their military forces were armed with nothing more than Pistols.
But before we leap to the conclusion that such foolishness is impossible in the Emperor’s “finest troops”, I would urge readers to study the example of the US Army’s elite Rangers, S.E.A.L., and Delta Force commandos in Somalia. Think back to 1993, the 1980’s was long gone, Jurassic Park had just been released and the Berlin wall saw some new and interesting renovations; the world was a better place for it. Yet during a disastrous mission in which two Blackhawk helicopters were shot down, U.S. Special Forces units demonstrated exactly the kind of overconfidence that bought disaster to Endor. They arrogantly performed what should have been a night operation in broad daylight, and they didn’t bother bringing any “unnecessary” dead weight, such as water canteens, bayonets, or night-sight equipment. Some of them even removed the armour plates from their flak jackets, so they would be more comfortable in the heat. Worse yet, mission security was horrendous; Somali staff at the U.S. Embassy easily discovered the time and place of the mission, and forwarded this information to Somali militia. The entire mission was a mess long before Delta Force could pick the Camel turds from their boots.
Unfortunately for those men lost in the fray of poor military planning, the problems didn’t even stop there; they had no heavy reinforcements or armour in case of serious resistance, and they only had one rescue team, which became a huge problem when not one, but two choppers went down. They couldn’t even co-ordinate their activities; the Rangers and Delta Force commandos continuously butted heads over tactics and chain of command, and an Orion spy plane wasn’t permitted to give direct instructions to the men on the ground even though it was the only platform with a clear view of what was happening. The litany of mistakes continued with the rescue convoys, which literally got lost and ambushed en route to the crash site because of unfamiliarity with the city streets and poor direction from the helicopters above. In the confusion, the Americans fired on anyone with a gun, and then anyone who was around someone with a gun, and eventually, at anything that moved, thus causing thousands of civilian casualties. A simple mission to kidnap two men turned into a chaotic twelve hour firefight, in which nearly a hundred American soldiers were killed or wounded. If this were a fictional war story, it would have been lambasted for being hopelessly unrealistic. People would say “no real soldiers would be so incompetent”. But these men were not incompetent; they were overconfident and inadequately prepared. They demonstrated to the world (At least, the part of the world that reads books instead of getting all their information from action movies) that even the best trained, best equipped soldiers can still can be stymied by poor preparation and the inherent difficulties of combat in difficult and unfamiliar terrain.
Likewise the forces at Endor were deployed in an effort to ambush Rebel forces attempting to seize the bunker facility. They did not anticipate that the native inhabitants (Who up until that point appeared to be Neolithic mammals of little intelligence) could possibly deploy traps ahead of time, they could not even fathom that Rebel Commandos would work in conjunction with said primitives and at no point would it have been practical to employ planetary suppression forces for a relatively simple ambush. Thus they were greatly outnumbered, underequipped, unprepared and were being ensnared by an enemy who knew the terrain intimately, utilized this knowledge to great effect and garnered assistance from heavily armed Commando units. In retrospect we should be even more impressed by the fact that the heavily outnumbered and surrounded Imperial forces managed to go on the offensive and rout the enemy until one of their support vehicles was hijacked by a famous Wookie veteran.
Callously, history only ever recalls our greatest failures, but should we chastise the entire Roman Military for their losses at Teutoburg? Should U.S. Special Forces be held accountable for time immemorial for the failure in Somalia? Likewise should the reputation of the Stormtrooper Corps, an organization composed of billions of men, be tarnished due to the overconfidence of a vastly small minority?
Silver Surfer Vs Samus, Ironman, Durge, Megaman
June 29, 2009 by admin · 27 Comments
Here’s a twist to the group combat: Take on all!
First match will have Silver Surfer up against some of the toughest characters on this site. Who will win?
Contradictions Within Star Wars – Baron Somebody
June 29, 2009 by admin · 17 Comments
I have been watching Star Wars lately, and certain things have tripped my sensors that most “normal” (normal is used subjectively) people won’t realize. Yes, most of these occur within the prequel trilogy (which in all reality only Episode 3 was necessary, the others were kinda sketchy and whatnot but that’s just how it is), but that doesn’t matter. I mean, they ARE Star Wars movies, and you can’t not count them as canon, but hey, I think these mistakes were brought up by the fact that George Lucas just wasn’t thinking, That is the same reason Durge looks like Shredder from TMNT, or why the 501st got pwned by Ewoks, or even perhaps why the Empire didn’t think about covering up that exhaust port. But hey, it’s the man’s vision, let him take care of it. As for the contradictions…
Why do they say that stormtroopers are more precise than Tusken Raiders? Stormtroopers can’t hit something directly in front of them, yet the good old Tuskens can actually hit podracers from 2000 feet away (that is an estimate but it was a pretty large distance). Also, if a Tusken can knock out the main hero (Luke), with a hero shield over him, how come the stormtroopers can’t if they are that “highly trained” and “precise”? Were they drunk the whole time? Did they visit that cantina one too many times, I mean what the hell is the deal?
How come when Anakin is fighting Obi Wan on Mustafar, and they get to the end, Obi Wan says “I have the high ground”? When does that matter, because from what I have seen Obi Wan always won against powerful villains and he never had the high ground. Look at the battle between him and Darth Maul, or his battle with General Grievous. Every villain seemed to get utterly pwned when they had the high ground, so why is this one an exception? Even worse is that Anakin had no handicapps applied to him at all, he was in a near perfect scenario with his lightsaber at his side, yet he jumps over Obi Wan and gets his legs cut off. Why didn’t Darth Maul just do that to Obi Wan in Episode 1? Maybe it was a plot point, something to keep the story together, but that still isn’t an excuse. Why didn’t they just do a cliche ending where Obi Wan looks like he is going to lose but then out of nowhere he defeats Anakin, I mean at least that would have made more sense….
AT-ST Vs Tau Hammerhead Gunship
June 27, 2009 by admin · 19 Comments
Not sure how much the AT-ST has a chance in this match in any given scenario. Just about any terrain the Hammerhead has the advantage. So, is there any scenario where the AT-ST can win?

