Suggested by AkumaTh
Scenario – Our three contestants are trying to woo one Bella Swan. This would take place before she ever met Edward. Would this remain civil? Or would our contestants settle things brawl style?
Dating Game: Cullen, Freeman, Nukem For Bella Swan
December 16th, 2009 at 1:49 pm -
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December 16, 2009
#1
WHAT?! Lol! I hereby dub this the most ridiculous thing I’ve seen on Factpile so far.
Considering that Bella finds Edward ridiculously attractive and instantly lusts for him after meeting him a grand total of two times, and that EdwardxBella is canonical in the Twiverse, I think I’m leaning towards him for the win. In fact, after Freeman and Nukem get an idea of what Bella is like, they’ll probably shake their heads and tell Cullen he can have her.
December 16, 2009
#2
i dont think freeman has a chance, being a silent protagonist and all,
o and lol this is ridiculous
December 16, 2009
#3
I’d go with Duke. Its a proven fact that girls prefer Alpha-Male, douche baggy guys and Duke is the biggest D-Bag to grace video gaming. Well only second to Bobby Kotick.
December 16, 2009
#4
This is raping the right to add stuff admin. I’m dissapointed in you, BIG TIME.
December 16, 2009
#5
They despise her complete and utter blandness and lust after any other female character instead.
I’m thinking Mother Brain.
December 16, 2009
#6
my question is why those 2? y not some other vamps lol
December 16, 2009
#7
“Whacko – This is raping the right to add stuff admin. I’m dissapointed in you, BIG TIME.”
lol – I’m always willing to try something to see if it works or fails.
December 16, 2009
#8
I have no idea the characteristics of the twilight kids, but that doesn’t even matter because Nukem is in this.
The guy spouts off some badass lines on a regular basis:
“Half man. Half animal. All dead.”
“Now you see me.. now you’re dead.”
“I’m not gonna fight you… i’m gonna kick your ass.”
And then the one that’ll win this, and is enough to make any woman’s heart throb:
“I’ve got balls of steeeeeel”
December 16, 2009
#9
Well, from what I heard Cullen just simply looks at her a lot. Considering Freeman can’t talk I figured that’s all he’ll do. And from the Deadpool video “Twilight’s Guide to Picking Up Chicks” being a jerk to her is one of the qualities. So I picked the loudest jerk I could think of at the time, Duke Nukem.
Honestly, I think Duke would win. Since she has Daddy issues, Nukem would be 1000 times worse then Cullen to her father.
December 16, 2009
#10
on a much funnier note…
this is how Twilight should have ended…
Lets go eat some people! woot!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nqvg0C90FhM&feature=PlayList&p=dOWv76j71Ew
December 16, 2009
#11
I love that HISHE. I may dislike Twilight, but I love what people do with it.
And here’s that Deadpool video I was talking about: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-HQhRlfiak
December 16, 2009
#12
Gordon wouldn’t take her. He’s too much of a silent badass.
December 16, 2009
#13
that video was hilarious…
anyways Duke will have her in bed within the first hour if he wants her, he’s got all the lines…
December 16, 2009
#14
Nukem is too busy in Video Game Development Hell.
December 16, 2009
#15
C’mon admin. I’m home sick and the thought of this coming to Factpile is making me wanna puke again… My question is why does it have to revolve around Twilight?!?!? Anything else might have made it decent, but honestly…
December 16, 2009
#16
Why would the want to date her? I would rather have this being a “Make Bella bite the duest-permanently”- post. Now that would be….very enjoyable….mwuhahaha!
- the pondering fool
December 16, 2009
#17
frm wat i know unfortunatley cullen would win
December 16, 2009
#18
I would love to see Bella try to talk to Dr.Freeman though.
Bella: So… what’s your most impressive ability?
Freeman: ……. /Looks at crowbar, then at Bella, back to crowbar, Bella, crowbar, Bella, crowbar, Bella, crowbar…./
/Sound of metal meeting skull./
December 16, 2009
#19
yeah…. there should be a match between Lobo and Blade and deadpool and several other non homo vamps vs emo vamps… not a fight to the death… but to torture emo vamps for being so lame
December 16, 2009
#20
“yeah…. there should be a match between Lobo and Blade and deadpool and several other non homo vamps vs emo vamps… not a fight to the death… but to torture emo vamps for being so lame”
Oh my, Lobo verses the entire Twilight universe…..I guess, Twilight could possibly win, seeing as that would include our “world”, meaning the entire military forces of the Earth against one sole bad-assery incarnated alien. But Lobo has eliminated his own planet with a omnicidal bio weapon……mwuhahaha, Lobo still wins in the end!
- pf
December 16, 2009
#21
Bruce Lee. No question.
(Blah Blah post not long enough…)
December 16, 2009
#22
this thing would come down to violence
cullen would be too bs getting swarmed by twilight fangirls to fight, the duke would mow the entire crowd of fangirls down, along with cullen, in a wall of leaden death.
then the duke would fall over with a crowbar in his head, gordon freeman is holding the gravity gun.
GORDON WINS
seriously, they should have put gordon in brawl, that would be badass…
December 16, 2009
#23
Sadly, Gordon’s out of the game first. Him being mute kind of killed his odds.
December 16, 2009
#24
unless it resorts to violence.
and alyx seemed to fall for him…
December 16, 2009
#25
I think Duke is going to with this one. First he will offer her some money, and when/if that fails he will take one of his guns and blow off Ed’s head, then he would say some cheesy one-liner, then rape Bella anyways.
…
What?! This match was about who would actually DATE her instead of BED her! Sorry, Ed wins by default as Duke chooses to go back to Development Hell rather than spend any amount of time with her and the good Dr. is too busy being proving the scientific theory of relative bad-assery for dating a woman who is entirely dependant on others, has no selfesteme, a pathetic waste of a space, and a sorry excuse for a human being.
December 16, 2009
#26
Well…. here’s a question for everyone. Will Nukem ever escape Video Game Development Hell… and would that be a good thing?
December 17, 2009
#27
If she was smart she would go with Freeman…. Wait….. On second thought never mind
December 17, 2009
#28
no… i think the glasses did freeman in before he showed up…
December 17, 2009
#29
Morlun, Alex Mercer and Cole McGrath vs the Twilight Universe.
@Kenny C: Haze is a pretty good example of what happens when a game spends too long in development.
December 17, 2009
#30
is there nothing to be said for freeman?
also: cullen will die first…
December 17, 2009
#31
“is there nothing to be said for freeman?”
If he said anything he would try to play the bad boy and say something like “I’m a wanted man, baby” And then have an exciting date running and gunning against metro cops through city 17.
December 17, 2009
#32
“This is raping the right to add stuff admin. I’m dissapointed in you, BIG TIME.”
Now, now, let’s not give the Admin too hard a time. He’s not quite abusing his power quite yet. This is just one post, after all. If this had been a dating game entirely composed of SoT characters, then we’d have cause to be worried, lol.
“yeah…. there should be a match between Lobo and Blade and deadpool and several other non homo vamps vs emo vamps… not a fight to the death… but to torture emo vamps for being so lame”
It only involved one “real” vamp, but Alucard vs. Twilight was kind of a good start in this regard.
December 17, 2009
#33
Why would anyone other than Cullen even have any interest at all in dating Bella Swan?
December 17, 2009
#34
“Why would anyone other than Cullen even have any interest at all in dating Bella Swan?”
Iknorite?
December 17, 2009
#35
If it did get physical (fight) I do not like the chances of duke and freeman
and plus I don’t think bella would go for gordan, even though he’s a badass he barely talks is a scientist and is a bit of a nerd
While duke is probably the todd of vidoe games when it comes to women so I think that none would be able to compete
with the sparkly one.
December 17, 2009
#36
Then there’s the age factor…. WHAT THE HELL DID I SAY??!!!
This is my last post on this one…. far too silly.
December 18, 2009
#37
I say Freeman. Reason: Everybody loves the strong silent type.
December 18, 2009
#38
Freeman doesn’t have taste for women….
I’m unimpressed in Bella if his partner would be Cullen, 2 EMOs combined with a low-bid modern dracula image.
Nukem is the right choice….THE HUNK type I prefer.
December 18, 2009
#39
@Diana
Then what is Alyx to Dr. Freeman?
December 18, 2009
#40
Wait a second isn’t this statutory rape because she is under aged and all three guys are over aged
December 18, 2009
#41
Well, Alyx might choose Freeman because she sees that Freeman is one with an undying aptitude, besides both of them are on the same shoes, they are both scientists. One more thing is that Alyx would gladly choose Freeman because the human population in Half-Life is on the verge of extinction, practicality rather than love-bonding. But its tasteless…YUCK! No PASSION & ROMANCE.
If the 3 would destroy themselves though sheer force then the winner might be Freeman. Xen teleporter would blast Cullen away into oblivion.
December 18, 2009
#42
duke nukem was based off of me…
true story…
December 18, 2009
#43
Really? Don’t balls of steel bring some pretty awkward problems with the chicks? A bit too hard, I mean.
December 18, 2009
#44
If it comes to a fight, Freeman and Nukem would need to get creative to defeat Edward and his superhuman abilities. Creative with heavy artillery type weapons, like a rocket launcher.
December 20, 2009
#45
The Freeman wouldnt even have to say a word, he gets what ever he wants, but first order of business would be introducing Edw….i cant even say his name, thats how much of a douche he is, to the Manbar.
December 21, 2009
#46
Unfortunately Cullen would probably win this. My girl dragged me to see new moon which was pretty tolerable since Cullen was hardly in it. But anyway she was willing to do all sorts of stupid and dangerous shit just to get an image of him so even though she could have had the werewolf guy who was actually pretty cool and didn’t look like a complete gay or a skinny emo.
December 21, 2009
#47
Nobody would win this, nobody but Nukem.
Gordon would not be interested and simply leave the others be.
Duke would shoot Cullen, and then Bella, because that’s how he rolls.
February 5, 2010
#48
hi edward cullen
you go to my dream bit me
and kiss me on my lips