Another awesome video from Hitman H94.

Be sure to comment both here and on YouTube.

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Ok, all of you know I am a die-hard fan of the Legend of the Seeker show. WAIT! don’t leave yet, there’s something here for everyone, trust me!

Back to the post.

I know there are a few readers here who enjoy the show and books, and just knowing that information makes these picspams hilarious. Since there will be no episodes for the next 3 weeks, this is a great time to get caught up or spend some time getting up to speed on the series.

This post will continue to update as she continues to release them. Even if you never watched the show, just check out one or two, the caps are really good.

They are listed from the most recent recap in descending order and clicking on each link opens a new window.

As for the parts that everyone will like? At the end of this list, there is a picspam that has Xena and Gabrielle. And some nice bonuses…

Princess

Hunger

Torn

Perdition

Dark

Light

Resurrection

Fury

Wizard

Touched

Broken

Baneling

Marked

Bonuses:
Bitch Slap (Xena and Gabrielle)

Kahlan Fight Sex

Kahlan’s Boobs

Sword of Lies (Picspam community)

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I’m sure you might have seen some of these before, but my friends over at Ranker.com dropped me a line detailing this list of the 10 craziest video game reactions of all-time.

I had only seen the Halo kid freaking out on Youtube, and there are a couple that lead to more serious issues.

However, given my recent plight with Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2, I particularly liked video number 7 where the kid played for 17 hours straight – and vents his frustration…you just have to watch it to understand.

So check it out and watch the 10 craziest video game reactions of all-time.

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I typically don’t post items like this but because I am such a hardcore geek for Starcraft, here goes.

First, download Starcraft 2 Beta From Torrents or from your Battle.net Profiles. (Download link)

Second, download Lazy Launch. (Download Link).

Third, download the map pack . (Namely: Starcraft 2 Beta Login Bypass, Cache, and Replays)

Install the game and run it. It will update it to the latest patch. After that close the game and run Lazy Launch. It will take you to your explorer, choose the map you want to play and that’s it.

Keep in mind it will automatically choose a race for you and the AI. If you’re not comfortable with that, just restart the game again for your favorite race.

Here are the AI difficulty patches for StarCraft II Beta:
Very Easy
Easy
Medium
Hard
Very Hard
Insane
Original

Final note: Be sure to SCAN EVERY FILE FOR VIRUSES before you run them. I won’t be held responsible for your loss if you don’t follow this rule of downloading anything from the web. I use Kasperksy and you should too. Click this link for a free scan.

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There is a movie adaptation targeted for a March 2, 2012 release, which falls on the birthday of Dr. Seuss, who died in 1991. About the only other Dr Seuss character I ever liked was the Grinch, but the Lorax is without a doubt my personal favorite. This story is good not for the plight of the Amazon rain forests, but instead of the one voice that tries to warn the others of their path of destruction, in which they only realize too late. Someday, the Lorax may return…
by Dr. Seuss

At the far end of town

where the Grickle-grass grows

and the wind smells slow-and-sour when it blows

and no birds ever sing excepting old crows…

is the Street of the Lifted Lorax

And deep in the Grickle-grass, some people say,

if you look deep enough you can still see, today,

where the Lorax once stood

just as long as it could

before somebody lifted the Lorax away.

What was the Lorax?

And why was it there?

And why was it lifted and taken somwhere

from the far end of town where the Grickle-grass grows?

The old Once-ler still lives here.

Ask him. He knows.

You won’t see the Once-ler.

Don’t knock at his door.

He stays in his Lerkim on top of his store.

He lurks in his Lerkim, cold under the roof,

where he makes his own clothes

out of miff-muffered moof.

And on special dank midnights in August,

he peeks

out of the shutters

and sometimes he speaks

and tells how the Lorax was lifted away.

He’s tell you, perhaps…

if you’re willing to pay.

On the end of a rope

he lets down a tim pail

and you have to toss in fifteen cents

and a nail

and the shell of the great-great-great-

grandfather snail.

Then he pulls up the pail,

makes a most careful count

to see if you’ve paid him

the proper amount.

The he hides what you paid him

away in his Snuvv,

his secret strange hole

in his gruvvulous glove.

Then he grunts, “I will call you by Whisper-ma-Phone,

for the secrets I tell are for your ears alone.”

SLUPP!

Down slupps the Whisper-ma-Phone to your ear

and the old Once-ler’s whispers are not very clear,

since they have to come down

throught a snergelly hose,

and he sounds

as if he had

smallish bees up his nose.

“Now I’ll tell you,” he says, with his teeth sounding ray,

“how the Lorax got lifted and taken away…

It all started way back…

such a long, long time back…

Way back in the days when the grass was still green

and the pond was still wet

and the clouds were still clean,

and the song of the Swomee-Swans rang out in space…

one morning, I came to this glorious place.

And I first saw the trees!

The Truffula Trees!

The bright-colored tufts of the Truffula Trees!

Mile after mile in the fresh morning breeze.

And, under the trees, I saw Brown Bar-ba-loots

frisking about in their Bar-bo-loot suits

as they played in the shade and ate Truffula Fruits.

From the rippulous pond

came the comfortable sound

of the Humming-Fish humming

while splashing around.

But those trees! Those trees!

Those Truffula Trees!

All my life I’d been searching

for trees such as these.

The touch of their tufts

was much softer than silk.

And they had the sweet smell of fresh butterfly milk.

I felt a great leaping

of joy in my heart.

I knew just what I’d do!

I unloaded my cart.

In no time at all, I had built a small shop.

Then I chopped down a Truffula Tree with one chop.

And with great skillful skill and with great speedy speed.

I took the soft tuft. And I knitted a Thneed!

The instant I’d finished, I heard a ga-Zump!

I looked.

I saw something pop out of the stump

of the tree I’d chopped down. It was sort of a man.

Describe him?…That’s hard. I don’t know if I can.

He was shortish. And oldish.

And brownish. And mossy.

And he spoke with a voice

that was sharpish and bossy.

“Mister!” he said with a sawdusty sneeze,

“I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees.

I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues.

And I’m asking you, sir, at the top of my lungs”–

he was very upset as he shouted and puffed–

“Whats that THING you’ve made out of my Truffula tuft?”

“Look, Lorax,” I said. “There’s nocause for alaram.

I chooped just one tree. I am doing no harm.

I’m being quit useful. This thing is a Thneed.

A Thneed’s a Fine-Something-That-All-People-Need!

It’s a shirt. It’s a sock. It’s a glove. It’s a hat.

But it has other uses. Yes, far beyond that.

You can use it for carpets. For pillows! For sheets!

Or curtains! Or covers for bicycle seats!”

The Lorax said,

“Sir! You are crazy with greed.

There is no one on earth

who would buy that fool Thneed!”

But the very next minute I proved he was wrong.

For, just at that minute, a chap came along,

and he thought that the Thneed I had knitted was great.

He happily bought it for three ninety-eight.

I laughed at the Lorax, “You poor stupid guy!

You never can tell what some people will buy.”

“I repeat,” cried the Lorax,

“I speak for the trees!”

“I’m busy,” I told him.

“Shut up, if you please.”

I rushed ‘cross the room, and in no time at all,

built a radio-phone. I put in a quick call.

i called all my brothers and uncles and aunts

and I said, “Listen here! Here’s a wonderful chance

for the whole Once-ler Family to get mighty rich!

Get over here fast! Take the road to North Nitch.

Turn left at Weehawken. Sharp right at South Stitch.”

And, in no time at all,

in the factory I built,

the whole Once-ler Family

was workign full tilt.

We were all knitting Thneeds

just as busy as bees,

to the sound of the chopping

of Truffula Trees.

Then…

Oh! Baby! Oh!

How my business did grow!

Now, chopping one tree

at a time

was too slow.

So I quickly invented my Super_axe_hacker

which whacked off four Truffula Trees at one smacker.

We were making Thneeds

four times as fast as before!

And that Lorax?…

He didn’t show up any more.

But the next week

he knocked

on my new office door.

He snapped, “I’m the Lorax who speaks for the trees

which you seem to be chopping as fast as your please.

But I’m also in charge of the Brown Bar-bo-loots

who played in the shade in their Bar-bo-loot suits

and happily lived, eating Truffula Fruits.

“NOW…thanks to your hacking my trees to the ground,

there’s not enough Truffula Fruit to go ’round.

And my poor Bar-ba-loots are all getting the crummies

because they have gas, and no food, in their tummies!

“They loved living here. But I can’t let them stay.

They’ll have to find food. And I hope that they may.

Good luck, boys,” he cried. And he sent them away.

I, the Once-ler, felt sad

as i watched them all go.

BUT…

business is business!

And business must grow

regardless of crummies in tummies, you know.

I meant no harm. I most truly did not.

But I had to grow bigger. So bigger I got.

I biggered my factory. I biggered my roads.

I biggered my wagons. I biggered the loads

of the Thneeds i shipped out. I was shippping them forth

to the South! To the East! To the West! To the North!

I went right on biggering…selling more Thneeds.

And I biggered my money, which everyone needs.

Thenagain he came back! I was fixing some pipes

when that old-nuisance Lorax came back with more gripes.

“I am the Lorax,” he coughed and he whiffed.

He sneezed and he snuffled. He snarggled. He sniffed.

“Once-ler!” he cried with a cruffulous croak.

“Once-lear! You’re making such smogulous smoke!

My poor Swomee-Swans…why, they can’t sing a note!

No one can sing who has smog in his throat.

“And so,” said the Lorax,

“–please pardon my cough–

they caannot live here.

So I’m sending them off.

“Where will they go?…

I don’t hopefully know.

They may have to fly for a month…or a year…

To escape from the smog you’ve smogged-up around here.

“What’s more,” snapped the Lorax. (His dander was up.)

“Let me say a few words about Gluppity-Clupp.

Your machinery chugs on, day and night without stop.

making Gluppity-Glupp. Also Schloppity-Schlopp.

And what do you do with this leftover goo?…

I’ll show you. You dirty old Once-ler man, you!

“You’re glumping the pond hwere the Humming-Fish hummed!

No more can they hum, for their gills are all gummed.

So I’m sending them off. Oh, their future is dreary.

They’ll walk on their fins and get woefully weary

in search of some water that isn’t so smeary.

I hear things are just as bad up in Lake Erie.”

And then I got mad.

I got terribly mad.

I yelled at the Lorax, “Now listen here, Dad!

All you do is yap-yap and say, ‘Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!’

Well, I have my rights, sir, and I’m telling you

I inteend to go on doing just what I do!

And, for your information, ou Lorax, I’m figgering

on biggering

and BIGGERING

and BIGGERING

and BIGGERING,

turning MORE Truffula Trees into Thneeds

which everyone, EVERYONE, EVERYONE needs!”

And at that very moment, we heard a load whack!

From outside in the fields came a sickening smack

of an axe on a tree. Then we heard the tree fall.

The very last Truffula Tree of them all!

No more trees. No more Thneeds. No more work to be done.

So, in no tmie, my uncles and aunts, every one,

all waved me good-bye. they jumped into my cars

and drove away under the smoke-smuggered stars.

Now all that was left ‘neath the bad-smelling sky

was my big empty factory

the Lorax…

and I.

The Lorax said nothing. Just gave me a glance…

just gave me a very sad, sad backward glance…

as he lifted himself by the seat of his pants.

And I’ll never forget the grim look on his face

when he heisted himself and took leave of this place,

through a hole in the smog, without leaving a trace.

And all that the Lorax left here in this mess

was a small pike of rocks, with the one word…

“UNLESS.”

Whatever that meant, well, I just couldn’t guess.

That was long,long ago.

But each day since that day

I’ve sat here and worried

and worried away.

Through the years, while my buildings

have fallen apart,

I’ve worried about it

with all of my heart.

“But now,” says the Once-ler,

“Now that you’re here,

the word of the Lorax seems perfectly clear.

UNLESS someone like you

cares a whole awful lot,

nothing is going to get better.

It’s not.

“SO…

Catch!” calls the Once-ler.

He lets something fall.

“It’s a Truffula Seed.

It’s the last one of all!

You’re in charge of the last of the Truffula Seeds.

And Truffular Trees are what everyone needs.

Plant a new Truffula. Treat it with care.

Give it clean water. And feed it fresh air.

Grow a forest. Protect it from axes that hack.

Then the Lorax

and all of his friends

may come back.”

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Very quick and interesting video on a lot of what has happened to how we humans perceive history to be.

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I typically don’t have too many thoughts when it comes to the end of an era for anything, as I believe change is good and it’s always good to get out of your comfort zone. For Halo 2 on Xbox live, that end arrives on April 15th, 2010. After that, Halo 2 will no longer be available to play on the service.

Personally, I think Halo 2 set a standard for how online multi-player matchmaking should be done. Step back for a moment from the all the hype that Master Chief gets as a character and instead look at what that game accomplished.

It helped to create a variety of balanced gameplay online. By having a ranking system based on the player skill level, you were only sometimes in matches where the other players were incredibly better than you. There were game types for everyone – I know Team Slayer is always a favorite as well as Rumble Pit. For me, it’s always been about the tactical games via Capture the Flag or Assault.

I fired up the Halo 2 disk and jumped back into those matches. At first there was a nostalgic feel to everything. It was a nice comforting feeling similar to that of seeing an old friend. Then the negatives started to rear their ugly heads. I was instantly placed into a Big Team Battle match with about 7 other players waiting…and we waited…and waited…it took an average of eight minutes for each match that I played in.

Then, I had forgotten about the convenient mute feature found in Halo 3, so I instead would just turn off my mic and just listen. Finally when we would finally get enough players, the game would start and it looked like a game from 2004. Very flat images, players lagging out and lurching all over the place. Seemed like it only took 3 shots from any weapon to get killed. I could still super jump, so I was happy about that.

After I played a few games (ok, about 50) I decided that it was best to leave it in the past and instead to remember the good times and so from that, I decide to compile my list of my favorite maps from Halo 2.

Perhaps Bungie will one day make a “Maptacular” special where they update all these maps…I know wishful thinking! Anyways, here is the list:

10.) Zanzibar

That gigantic wheel. The destructible columns where soo many times I perished trying to arm the bomb. Yes, I know they updated this for Halo 3, but there’s always something special about the original…

9.) Burial Mounds

This was a great map for Snipers, Capture the Flag and Assault. Also loved the super jumps I could pull off and easily pick off unknowing players as they walked by. Playing CTF on this map was insane. The warthog trick was the best. Soo many times you could rush the base, grab the flag and hop on the hood and ride away to victory. Assault was about impossible to find a winning strategy, but it was always fun. And of course Snipers – from the super jump spots to standing on top of the ‘bones’ on the map, that was a great arena to battle in.

8.) Lockout

A great map for Rumble Pit and CTF. Another map that Bungie has updated for Halo 3 (Blackout), but there was nothing more fun that doing a super jump to the top of the structure on Team Snipers and watching the other gamers in frustration trying to exact revenge…

7.) Containment

An excellent map for Team Snipers, Capture the Flag and Assault. For some reason, “Territories” was on this map way too much and was a part of the reason why this map fell out of favor. Otherwise, a great map to super jump and snipe on. Also, was a pretty easy map to get out of. I distinctly remember one sniping match where a guy on blue team super jumped next to me on my spot. We spent the entire game watching all the other players killing each other, and if someone from our own team tried to kill the other guy, we would betray them. Ah, the things you could never do in real life…

6.) Terminal

That effing train. That thing stopped me from scoring the flag hundreds of times. It also helped me win a few matches as well. Snipers was good on this map as well as Team Slayer. Nice balance, plenty of hiding places as well an open front area to rush in. So many matches on this map came down to the wire.

5.) Relic

This must’ve been a favorite map for modders and boosters. Seems like about every other game on this map would have some type of cheating taking place on it. One time I spent an entire match falling from one structure repeatedly as I was getting sniped after only about 1/2 second from spawning. When you did get a match that wasn’t being ruined by dicktards, it was a nice map for Team Snipers and CTF.

4.) Ascension

By far the best map for Rumble Pit and Slayer games. Capture the Flag played well on this map. Hell, even Team Snipers was great here. Another excellent map for super jumps. And at least on this map, you could find the super jumpers and take them out courtesy of the rockets or sniper. Once they took out the Banshee from the default map, it wasn’t as fun.

3.) Waterworks

Another well balanced map for Big Team Battle. Nice vehicle blend, weapon dispersion, and great locations to snipe from. This map also had the stalagmites that you could shoot and if you timed it right, could land on a victim, stop the flag from getting scored, or really piss off that idiot driving the wraith. This map would be a great candidate for an update.

2.) Coagulation

This is hallowed ground here. For those of you not familiar with the awesome machinima series “Red Vs Blue“, the main story takes place on this map and it’s predecessor, Blood Gulch. Besides being the backdrop of that essential piece of Halo lore, this map taught me the value of playing defense and calling out spots on the map with common names so that others in your team knew where the enemy was approaching from. A very under rated map for sniping, since there was soo much open ground it made you play with a different strategy from most sniper maps.

1.) Headlong

Easily the most fun and balanced map that has ever been produced by Bungie. This map is soo flexible that I challenge anyone to show me a map that can account for every game type possible, and still be balanced. A perfect blend of vehicles, obstacles, buildings, weapons, tactics and strategies makes this my all time favorite map for not just Halo 2, but for every other release since. Unless they update this map I doubt there will ever be another map that plays so well into every possible scenario.

Headlong, you will be missed.

Ok, let the bashing begin, anyone else have a favorite map from Halo 2 not included on the list? And if so, try to convince me why it should be on this list!

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Thanks to Hitman H94 for the link.

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I know some of the video quality isn’t that great, but whoever put this together has some hardcore editing skills. On an unrelated note, right now for some reason in Google, this site is #3 if you search for “Richard Rahl” (no quotes). While it’s certainly fun and all, I’m a bit perplexed as to how the site got there. Not complaining, just sayin!

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