Richard Rahl Vs The Forest Moon Of Endor

Richard Rahl Vs The Forest Moon Of Endor

Suggested by Shgon Dunstan

Admin’s Note: After laughing at the idea of watching Rahl stomp Ewoks, I think after he clears those annoying Jar Jar Binks pre-cursors, I think the rest of the scenario would present a real challenge…

Richard Rahl (Sword of Truth) gets put down on the the Forest Moon of Endor two years before the Empire shows up, with nothing but his sword and the clothes on his back, about four miles from the Ewok (Star Wars) village in the movie, and is has to wipe out all sapient life on on the whole moon.

The inhabitants of the moon are given no warning of his mission, save what they’d normally get as he goes about carrying it out.

Full EU for all inhabitants of the moon, and anyone who happens to show up in that time, whom, so long as their on the moon, are added to his “must kill” list, yes, even the Empire and Rebel forces.

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49 Comments on "Richard Rahl Vs The Forest Moon Of Endor"

  1. Kytheros September 3, 2013 at 6:46 am -      #1


    What. The. Fuck.

  2. Neon Lord September 3, 2013 at 6:50 am -      #2

    He trips on a Ewok wire, gets captured by the Ewok tribe, and roasted.

  3. Namer September 3, 2013 at 6:51 am -      #3

    From what I know, Rahl, massacres the native animals (including ewoks), then kills a large bunch of Imperial troops before somebody calls a Base Delta Zero on the absurdly powerful “Jedi” down there.
    .
    If Rahl survives that, we can go directly to Richard Rahl vs Darth Sidious, which Rahl probably loses.

  4. Dracula September 3, 2013 at 6:54 am -      #4

    The ewoks eat him after pelting him with rocks.
    -
    Nice picture though

  5. Commander Cross September 3, 2013 at 7:05 am -      #5

    @Namer at #3

    What?
    NO MAD!!!???

    *Gets serious*

    Well in any case, why wasn’t Hitman contacted to post up this fight?
    I’d state the usual Initial bets in this matter taking a while, except I’m not sure if it’ll be enough, here. :|

    I think I might have said something about this matter being really weird, before It got suggested but if I didn’t say it before now, Shgon may clarify if he likes.

    P.S: For the record, only a certain resident from the World of Skulduggery Pleasant deserves the mantle of Deathbringer, last time I checked, and its not Rahl unless it turns out he shares a close-enough title in his world.

  6. Namer September 3, 2013 at 7:22 am -      #6

    Ehh, I actually have no idea about Rahl, except that he’s just powerful enough to now get stomped by Rand’al Thor. Or maybe that was all just Mike.

  7. Namer September 3, 2013 at 7:38 am -      #7

    not*

  8. Mike September 3, 2013 at 7:42 am -      #8

    interesting, but probably would have made for a better “what if” scenario. any of the indigenous species get stomped by any attack(magic or sword) and cannot touch him(air shields) combined with is danger precog/lifesensing. that is unless some of the eu has lucastupid uber jedi ewoks. but mile diameter attacks that turn your enemies into goo tend to be useful when clearing areas of enemies seen or not(and the attack ignores friendlies/structures and the like).

  9. Crimson Sentry September 3, 2013 at 8:20 am -      #9

    I don’t know…
    I think the ewoks have this one, according to Star wars Battlefront 2 rocks and spears thrown by these little furry midgets hurt quite a bit. I mean head shots with those tiny spears will insta kill…

  10. Xornell September 3, 2013 at 8:25 am -      #10

    Aren’t there quite a few (by which I mean several hundred) highly poisonous things on Endor?
    -
    I know nothing about Rahl, though :/ I know he’s from SoT (or WoT), and that he knows magic, or something like that.

  11. Soulerous September 3, 2013 at 9:32 am -      #11

    Little creepy white-furred guy speedblitzes Rahl.

  12. Aelfinn September 3, 2013 at 10:25 am -      #12

    From what I know of Richard, he’s probably very well-protected during the day, but at night… Didn’t the EU turn Endor into a death-jungle-planet that makes Pandora shit itself?
    -
    Anyway, I’m pretty sure there are weather-controlling Ewok-gods or something ridiculous like that. The higher-tiers might be able to take on Rahl while he’s awake, but even that “maybe” is because of Hax.
    -
    Oddly enough, I had thought of a scenario not too different from this one, only that Rahl was teamed up with Rand al’Thor.

  13. Dracula September 3, 2013 at 10:33 am -      #13

    I think he would starve before he completed his mission
    -
    This seems more like a what if more than a fight actually

  14. Shadow-Knight September 3, 2013 at 10:38 am -      #14

    He would need to watch out for everything on the moon of Endor, even the water tries to kill you. For the best example of this, skip to 11:04 of this clip from Caravan of Courage.

  15. Shgon Dunstan September 3, 2013 at 11:52 am -      #15

    :D
    -
    Anyway, a “What if…” wouldn’t, unless the guy is a lot more homicidal then I’ve heard, involve him taking on the whole planet, and that’s a rather key part of the thread….
    -
    Anyway, I don’t know *everything* that lives there, but I do know that some of it gets…. Weird.
    -
    starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Endor

  16. Shgon Dunstan September 3, 2013 at 11:56 am -      #16

    :D
    -
    Anyway, a “What if…” wouldn’t, unless the guy is a lot more homicidal then I’ve heard, involve him taking on the whole planet, and that’s a rather key part of the thread….
    -
    Anyway, I don’t know *everything* that lives there, but I do know that some of it gets…. Weird.
    -
    starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Endor
    -
    starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Mount_Sorrow
    -
    starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Unidentified_talking_tree_species
    -
    starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Frost_Giant
    -
    starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Underwater_dweller
    -
    As the OP says, he only has to kill the “sapient” life, not “all” life, but still…… There’s a lot of it.

  17. Shgon Dunstan September 3, 2013 at 11:59 am -      #17

    “#15&#16″
    -
    ……….Don’t you hate it when that happens?

  18. Dassadec September 3, 2013 at 12:06 pm -      #18

    I think he’s gonna get killed by Rebels and imperial Walkers, IF he isn’t killed in his sleep by Endor wildlife. If he had unlimited stamina I’d say he could clear the moon but he is still a man who needs to sleep.
    -
    I say he will end up having to deal with Blasters and Walkers due to my sinceire doubt he can pull off life wiping Endor in two years,

  19. Shgon Dunstan September 3, 2013 at 12:18 pm -      #19

    @Dassadec
    “I think he’s gonna get killed by Rebels and imperial Walkers, IF he isn’t killed in his sleep by Endor wildlife. If he had unlimited stamina I’d say he could clear the moon but he is still a man who needs to sleep.
    -
    I say he will end up having to deal with Blasters and Walkers due to my sinceire doubt he can pull off life wiping Endor in two years,”
    -
    Well for one, though the gravity might say the moon is earth sized, the only life we can say for “sure” exist there, is the ones we’ve seen across the EU, so…. “life wiping Endor” might be easier then it first sounds.
    -
    As for the imperials and Rebels, remember that no one is told about him before hand, and side imperials and Rebels will still have each other to deal with, *and* like I said in the OP, if the imperials leave the moon, he *doesn’t* need to chase them down, nor does he have to go up and deal with the DS2.
    -
    As for sleep…. Well, he is a woodsmen, and…. What, does he not have any protective spells for when he’s sleeping?(<most of my knowledge of him comes from Vs).

  20. Shgon Dunstan September 3, 2013 at 12:25 pm -      #20

    @admin
    -
    Oh and…. That’s a much better picture then the ones I sent in. :lol:

  21. Xornell September 3, 2013 at 12:48 pm -      #21

    “Little creepy white-furred guy speedblitzes Rahl.”
    -
    That is the creepiest thing I have ever seen from the SW universe…. Dear god.

  22. Shadow-Knight September 3, 2013 at 12:55 pm -      #22

    Any one have any idea how he would get out of that water trap should he stop for a drink. It took a magic stick blessed by an Ewok elder to get the kid out of the trap, and to my knowledge Rahl does not have that on him.

  23. Shgon Dunstan September 3, 2013 at 1:14 pm -      #23

    …..And before post #50, as I seem to of forgotten about this “little detail” in making the OP…. Richard gets full, and constantly updating, knowledge of all sapient life on on the moon, as…. Otherwise, he’d have a devil of a time just “finding” them all.

  24. Dracula September 3, 2013 at 1:19 pm -      #24

    Yea that little creepy thing might just do him in….that was strange

  25. Shgon Dunstan September 3, 2013 at 1:24 pm -      #25

    @Shadow-Knight
    “Any one have any idea how he would get out of that water trap should he stop for a drink. It took a magic stick blessed by an Ewok elder to get the kid out of the trap, and to my knowledge Rahl does not have that on him.”
    -
    (Watches video)…. Ah :D , can you believe that some people actually “dislike” Ewoks? :?
    -
    Anyway, There’s plenty of things on Endor take “brute strength” isn’t going to cut it against, but… That’s what Sub-Magic(and just “Magic” for that matter) is for. Lets see that water try to lock him in, once he sends it to the underworld….

  26. Shadow-Knight September 3, 2013 at 1:58 pm -      #26

    “Anyway, There’s plenty of things on Endor take “brute strength” isn’t going to cut it against, but… That’s what Sub-Magic(and just “Magic” for that matter) is for. Lets see that water try to lock him in, once he sends it to the underworld….”

    That’s funny, I can just picture him leaning in for a drink, or to wash off his hands/take a bath, and get trapped. Then watch as he uses his powers to send the water to hell.

  27. Dassadec September 3, 2013 at 2:04 pm -      #27

    .”What, does he not have any protective spells for when he’s sleeping”
    -
    He definitely can’t “tie off” his spells like Rand. I dont know of any spells he has used that can be actively passive while sleeping.

  28. Shgon Dunstan September 3, 2013 at 2:24 pm -      #28

    @Dassadec
    “He definitely can’t “tie off” his spells like Rand. I dont know of any spells he has used that can be actively passive while sleeping.”
    -
    …..I remember there was a “siege” thread on the site that had some SoT fort(or something) in it, and didn’t it have booby trap spells of some kind on it?
    -
    ……How does one make a “booby trap spell”, without being able to make “cast it and forget it” spells?

  29. Sauroposeidon September 3, 2013 at 2:41 pm -      #29

    Don’t know much about this Rahl guy.. but I’m dubious about his ability to take on some of the more powerful force magic being thrown around Endor.
    -
    It’s basically if Disney and Pandora had a child that was on crack and steroids at the same time.

  30. ZomBomber September 3, 2013 at 3:20 pm -      #30

    What is so creepy about Teek? He is a pretty cool guy I thought. Anyways, a Teek probably could get Rahl though. If things start teaming up he is screwed, a colony of Ewoks with Teek support, and a Gorax or two would be brewtal. That isn’t even getting into the magic shit.

  31. Sauroposeidon September 3, 2013 at 3:40 pm -      #31

    And so we begin to chronicle yet another chapter in Admin’s failed quest to bring forth a crushing defeat to the Ewoks?

  32. Mike September 3, 2013 at 3:43 pm -      #32

    @sauro
    -well obvioulsy cis is taken off and richard’s bloodlusted to be trying to do the exact opposite of what his character would do, so just spamming mile diameter enemy killing attacks as he travels would probably take out most if not all of the sapient life we know about on the planet before they even know what’s going on in a day or two.

  33. Richard Rider September 3, 2013 at 4:02 pm -      #33
  34. Shgon Dunstan September 3, 2013 at 4:03 pm -      #34

    @Mike
    “well obvioulsy cis is taken off and richard’s bloodlusted to be trying to do the exact opposite of what his character would do”
    -
    I’d say “not blindly so” as “bloodlusted” says a bit to much “berserker” to me, but yeah.
    -
    Still, though not having read that far into the books I’m guessing, I’d think there’s a difference between “need” and “I want to kill something” or to different things.
    -
    Yeah, the site rules, at least “very likely”, say that he starts out with his “need”, but what’s the longest he’s ever kept it up?

  35. OberHeresy September 3, 2013 at 4:27 pm -      #35

    So, tell me Mike……how would Rahl win with CIS?

  36. Sauroposeidon September 3, 2013 at 6:35 pm -      #36

    Even spamming mile wide attacks.. when you have forces that can align celestial bodies at work, living mountains, the ability to resurrect the dead, shrinking in to nothingness, water traps, weather gods, ect… It gets to be a bit much VERY quickly. As soon as shit is out of whack, and all it takes it wiping a few ewok villages (or the villages of the other sapient races present, like the Lizard Warriors), he’s going to attract the attention of the big players on the moon.

  37. Shgon Dunstan September 3, 2013 at 6:49 pm -      #37

    @Sauroposeidon
    “that can align celestial bodies”
    -
    Can’t remember hearing that one before…..

  38. Sauroposeidon September 3, 2013 at 7:18 pm -      #38

    Sunstar baby! It is a force artifact which has to align celestial bodies to do something or other on Endor.
    -
    It’s also supposedly strong enough to kill Palpatine.. although it never got the chance. It was used to power a special gun. The gun missed and cut off a wing of his shuttle with out the round stopping.
    -
    The weapon was cited as being the most powerful gun in the universe at the time… but Raygar seemed kind of nutso when he said that.. >_> soo…
    -
    Morag, who used half of the stone, was considered powerful enough to completely wipe out the Sanyassan Marauders, a group of blaster wielding pirates with a Nightsister on their side. When a single force witch is stronger than a Nightsister AND a small army equipped with blasters, that’s saying something.
    -
    starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Morag
    -
    This lists various adventures of hers. Spawning invincible undead monsters, plants which can suck up the water from whole forests, and even the ability to survive being in lava and becoming one with it… She’s ridiculously powerful.
    -
    Oh, she can also just freeze you in place.

  39. OberHeresy September 3, 2013 at 7:40 pm -      #39

    WiCoker got his own children’s TV show?!
    -
    And it’s all canon? Wtf?

  40. OberHeresy September 3, 2013 at 7:41 pm -      #40

    Wicket*
    -
    Goddamn spell check……

  41. Shgon Dunstan September 3, 2013 at 7:53 pm -      #41

    @OberHeresy
    “WiCoker got his own children’s TV show?!
    -
    And it’s all canon? Wtf?”
    -
    Yeah, and it’s always been fun to go to Vs Ewok haters. :lol:
    -
    “Oh delicious salty tears”……….
    -
    ………No really, that one Ewok shaman is likely one of the most powerful Force-Users in all the EU.

  42. Sauroposeidon September 3, 2013 at 8:26 pm -      #42

    And he eventually goes Dark Side and Wicket -beats- him if I recall. Fucking A.

  43. PrimusxPilus September 5, 2013 at 4:29 pm -      #43

    What…. Dafuq. Lol go teddy bears

  44. Commander Cross September 5, 2013 at 4:39 pm -      #44

    @Senior Praetor Primus at #43

    You could even throw the entirety of The Forest Moon of Endor from Star Wars against All of Alagaesia from the Inheritance series, and initial bets would still be on Endor.

  45. Mike September 6, 2013 at 4:08 am -      #45

    so which of these “uber” eu starwars characters/items are present and have performed these feats 2 years prior to the empire showing up on Endor?

  46. Sauroposeidon September 6, 2013 at 5:26 am -      #46

    I honestly don’t know if Morag is still alive at this point. Nor do I know if Charal is still active either, who is a nightsister.. Logray, who is stronger than both should be there, however.
    -
    The timelines are difficult…But I think all the EU happens AFTER tRoJ, so EVERYONE should still be there.

  47. Sauroposeidon September 6, 2013 at 6:11 am -      #47

    But according to Wookieepedia, the show happens between RotJ (I have no idea how the t got up front over there on my other post).
    -
    And the Show clearly happens after the EU movies, because we see Wicket’s sister as a main character, and she’s just a wokling in the movies.
    -
    So everyone except for Morag should be around.
    -
    I suppose it makes sense, seeing as Palpatine was still around in one episode now that I think about it.
    -
    I don’t know when the comics take place, but seeing as they all look around the same age I’d say it’s around the same time as the show.. maybe..
    -
    What does this all mean? Not much, since Logray always has been and always will be the heaviest hitting Ewok in any Ewok fight. He was always present in any variation of when these events take place, and he still is.. so.. it still ends well for Endor.

  48. Sauroposeidon September 6, 2013 at 6:31 am -      #48

    THREE POST COMBO!
    -
    Also, the Rock Wizard is even more powerful than Logray, and he’s definitely still around..

  49. Shgon Dunstan April 27, 2014 at 8:40 pm -      #49

    …A lot of SW will likely recover much of what was, as far as Vs go, lost within ten years of so, but… I’m not half as hopeful for the poor nurfed little Ewoks. :cry:

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