Jack Sparrow Vs Lara Croft Vs Nathan Drake Vs Indiana Jones

Jack Sparrow Vs Lara Croft Vs Nathan Drake Vs Indiana Jones

Brought to you by sadot06

Word get’s out about a priceless treasure located on a previously uncharted island. Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean), Lara Croft (Tomb Raider – Original), Nathan Drake (Uncharted), and Indiana Jones (Original trilogy) decide to journey to this island and get the treasure themselves. They won’t be aware of each other unless they have a run in on the island.

There is a bounty on all 4 of them and Spike Spiegal is dropped off at the island after being tipped off to their whereabouts. He can either attempt to apprehend them or go for the treasure. Anyone he captures must be returned alive. The highest bounty’s are for Jack and Indie.

The treasure is in a vast temple. Guarding the temple are 50 Zombies. They have the intelligence of the Land of the Dead Zombies and above average human speed. Inside the temple are elaborate traps and the treasure room contains 100 more of these Zombies.

Everyone gets their standard load-out but there are assorted weapons located around the island and inside the temple.

Who get’s the treasure? Who does Spike capture?

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121 Comments on "Jack Sparrow Vs Lara Croft Vs Nathan Drake Vs Indiana Jones"

  1. StealthRanger August 14, 2013 at 7:16 am -      #1

    Jack’s….. kind of the odd one out here since the others use modern weaponry and tools but not him

    Not a bad concept though, not sure who wins

  2. Crimson Sentry August 14, 2013 at 7:20 am -      #2

    I think it’s hands down for Laura Croft here, Nathen Drake might be close, but shes dealt with supernatural stuff on a daily basis and trains by fighting massive robots, so I would assume her combat readiness and skill are overall higher than anyone elses there.

  3. Kytheros August 14, 2013 at 7:25 am -      #3

    Couple of Questions to clear up first.
    What sorts of weapons are located around the island? How many?
    Does Jack Sparrow get updated with knowledge of more modern weapons (if any are around)?
    How much do they know (or think they know) or suspect about the Temple and its defenses?


    Jack’s got an advantage as regards finding the Temple and the treasure, thanks to his compass. He may also have an edge with encountering others, assuming he gets a chance to open his mouth and start talking – and probably has decent odds of redirecting encounters to his benefit, or at least, away from being detrimental to him.


    In terms of physical ability to obtain the treasure … Indie probably comes in last as he has fewer (and weaker) combat and athletic feats. Croft and Drake are probably about on par with one another, and I’m uncertain as to just how they will compare to Sparrow.

  4. Hermit August 14, 2013 at 8:36 am -      #4

    As far as I know Jack is a really good shot. He used a rifle to shoot a falling barrel, and a pistol to shoot Davy Jones’ hand (which was holding the Dead Man’s Chest) while swinging from a rope. Also, he hit a guy with a coconut while the man was running and was some distance away. Took off that guy’s head too (it wasn’t attached).
    .
    His sword skills aren’t bad either. He was able to go toe to toe with Davy Jones while standing on top of a mast (made of circular log) while it was raining, fight within a moving water wheel, and on many occasion was able to improvise other things to use as weapons (namely, a paddle, a bamboo pole, a plank of wood, the coconut mentioned before, and bad breath.
    .
    I would not be surprised if Jack finds a cache of modern weaponry and, after examining it for a moment or two, have a rough idea of how to operate it.
    .
    Perhaps the greatest skill he can bring here is his ability to manipulate others. With but a few words, he was able to manipulate: Barbossa, William Turner, Davy Jones, the entire Brethren Court, and Blackbeard’s entire crew (minus the officers).
    .
    I would not be surprised if he manages to manipulate everyone into taking each other out, perhaps by convincing Spike Seagal to team up with him.

  5. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 14, 2013 at 11:02 am -      #5

    Well this is interesting. So I’ll go through with each person.

    Indie, he’s a great treasure hunter no question, but he is the least in shape person in this match when it comes to temple hopping he’s got minor experience with it but overall he just doesn’t have as much physical abilities as Sparrow Croft and Drake. His whip can only get him so far, and he doesn’t carry much other than his pistol and whip at that, he can grab weapons true but how good with them would he be, how much of a marksman is he, I don’t really remember any sniper type feats.

    Drake is the best temple crawling male and likely as capable as Lara overall. He’s also got experience with a type of zombie, as well as giant bullet resistant psychos with crossbows, he’s also the least likely to fall for Sparrows tricks being a bit of a plotter and manipulator himself, especially in the third game. So he would be likely to try and wheel and deal with people of he felt it necessary. Aside from zombies he’s also used to fighting trained armies of mercenaries, modern pirates, private security armies, and is used to taking advantage of weapons laying around and has experience with a variety of weapons which is a plus for him. He’s also less likely to fall for Lara and any seduction tricks she may pull (Original Trilogy Indie isn’t married, Jack would flirt with her probably anyway, no idea on Spike). He also starts off with a rifle (I think) so if they encounter early onand fight with anyone he has a slight firepower edge.

    Lara is the best temple crawler up there with Drake and has equal experience with supernatural that you can shoot to death. She can also play her femininity to her advantage with Indiana always help the damsal Jones and Jack flirts with any attractive woman Sparrow, granted I don’t know how likely she is to use that strategy, Drake may help her but he won’t trust her (he can probably tell she’s like Chloe, a skilled female adventurer) he’s dealt with backstabbing adventurers before so he’ll be wary of her trying to team up. However were they to team up it would spell trouble for everyone else as the best temple crawlers would not be focused on each other inevitable backstabbing notwithstanding meaning they could move even faster. However her skills mean she’s the most likely threat to Drake in actually getting to the treasure with both being the most likely to reach it first if not captured.

    Jack is a good fighter and a manipulative bastard. His best bet would be t try and manipulate Spike Lara or Drake (Though Drake is genre savvy enough to suspect him but I can’t speak for any other people here) Jones….wouldn’t be as helpful to Jack not useless but not as useful as the others. His infamous luck may not help much here though. His chances of getting there first depends on who he targets and how well he pulls it off but he is a wild card in that aspect.

    Who gets captured? I’d say Jones is the most likely as he is the weakest combat wise.

    Question, is this first to touch the treasure or first off the island, as it makes a difference in the long haul likely.

  6. ultimalynx August 14, 2013 at 11:11 am -      #6

    “Question, is this first to touch the treasure or first off the island, as it makes a difference in the long haul likely.”

    @GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki
    Yes, this would definitely make a difference. If it was just first to touch the treasure, than probably either Lara Croft or Nathan Drake, but if it was first to get off the island, then it would probably go to Sparrow, on account of his “infamous luck”.

  7. ultimalynx August 14, 2013 at 11:13 am -      #7

    “Question, is this first to touch the treasure or first off the island, as it makes a difference in the long haul likely.”
    @GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki
    Yes, this would definitely make a difference. If it was just first to touch the treasure, than probably go to either Lara Croft or Nathan Drake, but if it was first to get off the island, then it would probably go to Sparrow, on account of his “infamous luck”.

    (Sorry for the double-post, my tablet bugged when I was typing, and I didn’t realize it has left out a few things)

  8. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 14, 2013 at 11:33 am -      #8

    his luck isn’t as big a factor here, Drake Lara and Jines having had crazy luck of their own and luck not really being quantifiable for a debate (I think it’s been discussed in his other debates but I’ll look). However it becomes a much more deadly affair if they have to get off the island. Because by then most everyone will be at the least close to the temple, and fire fights being more likely. In that it becomes a matter of who has the best chance of taking out the competition, with it starting in a Mexican Standoff between Jack Lara Drake and possibly Spike (depending on who he encounters and all.) Those three have the most experience in shoot outs and are the deadliest in cqc as well with Spike as an even greater wild card and potential fourth party to it. Jones having no real marksmanship feats I can think of loses some of his chance with a fire fight, but he does have a shot with the treasure becoming a toss up catch it scenario. If he avoids getting in a fist fight.
    Drake is the kind of guy who might bluff an if I can’t have it, though so is Jack possibly. Don’t know if Lara would pull it but if so it might stay a standoff and it might just be does someone not involved break it up. But that question needs to be answered first.

    also welcome to Factpile

  9. Shadow-Knight August 14, 2013 at 11:40 am -      #9

    I am sorry I love jack but for some reason I see this happening in the near future.

  10. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 14, 2013 at 11:46 am -      #10

    If he’s dumb enough to not use his guns over swords it isvvery possible that would happen.

  11. Shadow-Knight August 14, 2013 at 11:53 am -      #11

    “If he’s dumb enough to not use his guns over swords it isvvery possible that would happen.”

    ————

    It is not so much “If he’s dumb enough” and more the equipment he brings to the table. Think about it, he is the only one who is bringing Flint lock weaponry. Even if he is a good shot with it the weapon alone would make him useless in a fire fight.

  12. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 14, 2013 at 11:58 am -      #12

    he could possibly figure out some of the weaponry on the island while going for the treasure, he wouldn’t master it but still.

    That said he’d be better off trying to manipulate.

  13. ultimalynx August 14, 2013 at 11:58 am -      #13

    GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki
    “also welcome to Factpile”

    @GuardianAngel
    Thanks!

    @Shadow-Knight
    Not necessarily, more modern weapons can only take bullets, however, with his flint-lock weapon, he can use pebbles and small rocks, as well as anything else that can fit down the barrel to his advantage. Jack’s a resourceful dude, I could see him pulling out a win here if he plays this right.

  14. Shadow-Knight August 14, 2013 at 12:15 pm -      #14

    “his whip can only get him so far, and he doesn’t carry much other than his pistol and whip at that, he can grab weapons true but how good with them would he be, how much of a marksman is he, I don’t really remember any sniper type feats.”

    ===========

    Well, It is heavily implied that he was an American secret agent during ww2, so this would mean that he would need some skills in the weapons department
    ==================
    He has dealt with Zombies before :
    static.comicvine.com/uploads/scale_medium/6/67663/2143180-indiana_jones_and_the_army_of_the_dead.jpg

    =-=========
    Other wars he has fought in in his youth:
    -participated in the Mexican Revolution,
    -three years fighting in World War I
    -joined the OSS during World War II

  15. Virgil August 14, 2013 at 12:18 pm -      #15

    @Shadow-Knight

    How did I know that video would come up? :)

    This match is pretty close and I am somehow doubting that Jones wouldn’t be much of a threat here… He certainly isn’t going to use a bunch of badass moves like the rest but he’s skilled in what he does (A perfectly capable shot BTW with machine guns, especially of the Nazi variety if any of those happen to show up).

    The whip and the ‘impeccable’ aim that comes with it has a very big factor to take into account. Has any of the other characters dealt with such things? Jack certainly hasn’t but I don’t really know about the rest. Useful for disarming, surprise, extra mobility, etc.

    I am NOT saying that Jones will win but he isn’t as black and white as you guys make him out to be.

  16. Shadow-Knight August 14, 2013 at 12:26 pm -      #16

    Oh and Theodore Roosevelt taught Indy to shoot a rifle

  17. Shadow-Knight August 14, 2013 at 12:35 pm -      #17

    “How did I know that video would come up?”

    =======

    Because like Han, Indiana shoots first.

  18. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 14, 2013 at 12:49 pm -      #18

    He’s fought in wars yes but we don’t know how skilled he actually was.

    Just asking but where in the film continuity does the Indiana Jones video game fit? Or the books for that matter? And were there undead in the book?

    And I didn’t say he wasn’t capable, but he’s certainly theo oldest combatant by Last Crusade, And not exactly in the best shape compared to the others (a pirate and 2 full time pro adventurers) whereas at this stage for Indie he spends a lot of time as a College Professor its not just lack of skill as he’s only behind in scaling collapsing ruins department (other aspects it’s lack of actual feats) which isn’t helped by not being quite in his prime

  19. Watchdog Lowk August 14, 2013 at 12:58 pm -      #19

    Lara seems like the only one who could take on Spike and get away.
    Plus she smart and physically the most athletic of the four. If any of those trapsor the interior requires the kind of physicality of Nathan or Lara to navigate I don’t think the other two are getting far.

  20. Shadow-Knight August 14, 2013 at 1:07 pm -      #20

    “And were there undead in the book?”
    Yes, in the book he had to fight Voodoo Zombies as well as full undead Zombies.

  21. Rorschach August 14, 2013 at 1:08 pm -      #21

    Lara and Drake would excel in the temple part.
    Not sure about Indy, might take him a while.
    Jack, well, I don’t think he’d do too good there.
    The Zombies, I don’t think would be a real problem for any of them, until they reach the treasure room.
    After reading a very brief article about Spike Speigal, he’s the only real challenge for any of them, aside from themselves. It’s hard to say who he’d run into first though.

    Like has been said, Jack does have the tendency to manipulate. If he does find anyone on the island, it’s a safe thing to say they’d be working together after that, at least, until they get to the treasure room. Also, with the supposed person(s) he manipulates, he could find out information about the new types of weaponry from them. Though he could and most likely would himself, it’d probably take less time, and he’d know the guns aren’t out of ammo after one shot.
    Because of the amount of zombies in the treasure room, it might take a few tries for anyone to actually get the treasure. I really don’t know who Spike would capture, but, seeing as he has some knowledge of the combatants, being that Jack and Indy have the highest bounties on their heads, he’ll probably go for the Pirate he thinks is old fashioned and not well equipped for finding the treasure.

    Also, what weapons are located on the island? It can change the outcome of who gets the treasure, and who Spike captures.

  22. ZomBMO August 14, 2013 at 2:27 pm -      #22

    If it is reboot Lara, then Drake, if it is classic Lara, it is a tossup. Why the other two are here, I don’t know.

  23. PrimusxPilus August 14, 2013 at 3:29 pm -      #23

    @ZomB
    It’s original Lara per match.

    Spike catches them all with his, athleticism, skill, trash talk, and shenanigans, grabs the treasure, and is broke again at the end of the episode…. Er, match.

  24. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 14, 2013 at 4:22 pm -      #24

    Looked up Drake’s standard loadout
    AK-47, .45 Defender, and 4 grenades according to his most recent solo normal fight (vs Spike ironically)

    also how big is this island? Is it a multi day journey from any beach to the temple? couple hours?

  25. Nomad August 14, 2013 at 5:23 pm -      #25

    Drake could possibly out trash talk Spike. ;)

  26. sadot06 August 14, 2013 at 6:31 pm -      #26

    Here is some clarity:

    Weapons scattered around the island:
    Handguns, Crossbows, shotguns, material for malatov cocktails, knives, swords, machetes, axes.

    Jack has knowledge of modern weaponry.

    The first to make it off the island with the treasure is the winner.

  27. Virgil August 14, 2013 at 6:37 pm -      #27

    @Sadot06

    Here is some clarity:
    Weapons scattered around the island:
    Handguns, Crossbows, shotguns, material for malatov cocktails, knives, swords, machetes, axes.

    Jack has knowledge of modern weaponry.

    The first to make it off the island with the treasure is the winner.


    Only materials for it? What about the people who DON’T make those kind of things like Jack and Jones? That leaves them in a pretty bad spot…

    Unless of course you mean there are JUST materials for molotovs and the axes, knives, etc. are already there.

  28. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 14, 2013 at 6:45 pm -      #28

    @Virgil
    pretty sure he means the materials for molotovs, and everything else is whole.

    @Sadot
    and on my question about the size of the island?

  29. LurkingNightmare August 14, 2013 at 7:31 pm -      #29

    -jack would weasel his way out of a stand off(most likely with the treasure). if the temple is hidden he would be the first to find it but he would have trouble getting through. if someone pointed a gun at him he would probably put his hands up and yell “don’t shoot,” and babble his way in to teaming up with them, or wait for them to give him a chance to run away. I can also see Jack being silly(acting like a drunk or being drunk) in the temple and have drake or indi walk in on him.
    -spike probably wouldn’t follow anyone into the temple but would ambush targets when they get supplies in town(or where ever they are finding stuff to use), when they leave the temple, or he could sabotage their ways off the island since they have to leave(I don’t think there is an airport on the previously uncharted island).
    -doesn’t lara have magic stuff? for physical feats I found out that she would be capable of taking multiple gold medals in different Olympic events such as running, and acrobatics.
    -does indi just go stealing treasure and artifacts? I thought he was an archaeologist. so wouldn’t he be after the history behind it all? if yes than the only way he can win is to beat everyone else or talk them out of it. that’s talk down or beat a treasure hunter(drake), a trill seeker(lara), a pirate(jack), and a bounty hunter(spike).

  30. sadot06 August 14, 2013 at 7:33 pm -      #30

    @Guardian

    Correct, just materials for the molotovs. Everything else is whole and with ammo when applicable. The Island is about the size of the island from Lost. I’d say it’d take them a day to walk from the beach to the temple.

  31. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 14, 2013 at 8:05 pm -      #31

    @Sadot
    okay, I only asked on the size because depending on the distance endurance and stamina would be a factor
    ————–
    found a map with a key of Lost Island (I’m just using it’s size as a base more than anything)
    Straight across north and south it’ll be about….36 miles give or take (it’s less than 40)
    and….roughly 30 miles east and west at the thickest parts.
    So….yeah there’s that.
    So with that in mind…..how good is everyone other than Drake with endurance/stamina? Drake we know walked through a desert for two days no stopping no supplies and still fought well against mooks. Plus there’s the incident with the train and the gunshot wound. But I don’t really know the others endurance/stamina.

  32. Amm0vamp1r3 August 14, 2013 at 8:07 pm -      #32

    I haven’t read anything just yet but going off of what I know: Jack gets shot and dies, then indy, and then Nathan.

    This is my thought

  33. OberHeresy August 14, 2013 at 8:42 pm -      #33

    I’m thinking you guys are underestimating Indy here. Sure, he may note able to reach the treasure first, but that doesn’t mean he can’t make it off the island with it. He just has to wait for the person who gets it first to come out or what not. Same with Jack. Honestly, I find the whole thing a gossip. They’d probably all end up teaming up just to double cross each other, as well as turn each other into Spike. I wouldn’t doubt if Lara gets turned in as soon as she’s not useful…..

  34. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 14, 2013 at 9:10 pm -      #34

    Indie does have a better chance once it’s a chase to stop whoever gets the treasure, as does Jack, but what kind of shape will Indie be in after a 30-40 mile trek through the jungle in his Last Crusade incarnation? I mean an island is a lot of turf for anyone to cover, I don’t remember Last Crusade that well though how was Indie’s endurance/stamina?

    I don’t think Lara would stop being useful before Jack is, Lara Nathan and Indie are all history buffs and treasure hunters, Jack is a historic relic and a drunk pirate if the treasure hunters worked together there’s little to no temple they couldn’t work through in record time. Jack..adds nothing to the group, has the highest bounty, and unless the modern weapons are explained is mostly useless gear wise. If anyone gets left for Spike to capture after a team up of all of them it’d be Jack.
    After that if they feel the need to ditch someone it’d be Indie due to the second highest bounty and him not being quite as athletic as the other two, not a giant gap perhaps but enough for them to see him as a good weight to cut loose if needed.
    At that point it’s a rematch, although Drake has already fought Indie and Lara both on the site and Indie fought Lara so this is a rematch stravaganza with Jack and Spike thrown in as bonus characters.
    That said all of them, or at least Lara Nate and Indie would likely end up swapping stories after this while in a bar. With Jack possibly just passing out in the booth from too much alcohol

  35. wpago August 15, 2013 at 1:23 am -      #35

    I think indie might have a small edge qhen it comes to killing other people. I mean the guy fought in world war 1 and went toe to toe with the nazi. Plus he can never die aince he drank from the holy gral. Just my two cents.

  36. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 15, 2013 at 1:25 am -      #36

    right because….Drake didn’t fight through three armies of mercenaries…pirates…and more.
    as to the immortality thing pretty sure he’s not immortal, he would have had to stay and continuously drink from it.

  37. wpago August 15, 2013 at 1:36 am -      #37

    World war 1 trenchwar fare with chemical biological day long artillery pounding and massive infintry charges > three armies of mecanaries when it comes to battle harden.
    As for thw immorality thing ill have to check.
    One last thing in one of the earlyer episodeanof young indiana jones he went on a few raida behind enemy lines to include destpry the germans train artillery piece.

  38. wpago August 15, 2013 at 1:41 am -      #38

    Correction: he just has a severaly increased lifespan but not immortality. My mistake

  39. Shadow-Knight August 15, 2013 at 2:00 am -      #39

    Youtube did not have a normal clip from the last crusade; this was the best I could find. The Tank scene with out sound.

    4:28=Jumps from galloping horse back onto speeding tank, lands on his face and is un-phased.

    5:02-6:46=Gets strangled by a chain, still fights while getting strangled, gets his face shoved against a tank tread.

    6:48-7:10=hangs from side gun, gets fingers stomped, hit with a shovel,drug along a rock wall

    8:50-9:15=repeatedly punched in the kidney area while supporting his fathers weight so that he would not get killed.

    Hows that for endurance!

    ================

  40. Kytheros August 15, 2013 at 3:05 am -      #40

    What is the treasure? How portable/concealable is it? Does it have any uses/functions/abilities/powers/etc?
    How much knowledge of the island, Temple, and the defenses do they have? Where on the island is the temple? Do they know where it is, or do they need to look for it first?
    Where on the island do they first arrive?

  41. sadot06 August 15, 2013 at 4:59 am -      #41

    @Kytheros

    See post 27

    The treasure is a large purple diamond with alien origins. Once the treasure is grabbed, the Admin will fly over the island in a helicopter and land on the beach, waiting to pick up the person that reaches him first.


    Again, Jack has knowledge of modern weaponry. Everyone knows the treasure is located in a temple around the center of the island and that there are Zombies guarding it.

  42. Hermit August 15, 2013 at 7:17 am -      #42

    If Cracked is to be trusted, Indie spent three days holding his breath underwater. (He was hanging onto to a submarine mast while it was submerged.

  43. Kytheros August 15, 2013 at 7:22 am -      #43

    “If Cracked is to be trusted, Indie spent three days holding his breath underwater. (He was hanging onto to a submarine mast while it was submerged.”

    Depends on the kind of sub and what it was doing. Presumably this was during WW2?
    If it was one of the subs with snorkels and was actively snorkeling the entire time he was holding on, he could’ve been hanging onto the snorkel, and thus been at the surface. Would be theoretically possible, although appallingly risky.

  44. Shadow-Knight August 15, 2013 at 8:54 am -      #44

    I think he is thinking of this scene and the one fallowing it where he is clinging to the hull of the vessel as it pulls into a dry dock.

    =======

  45. Shadow-Knight August 15, 2013 at 8:56 am -      #45

    Also, what are y’all thoughts on the durability feats on post #39?

  46. Raichu_1 August 15, 2013 at 10:11 am -      #46

    @Shadow-Knight
    Not bad, not bad at all.

    On a totally different note, but still related to this topic, now that they have to get off the island with the treasure, I could totally see Jack pulling out the win. He would be able to find whoever has the treasure, team up using his way with words, and would escape at the first opportunity. Also, he would probably wait until one of the others grabbed the treasure before he even went after them, probably camping out near the beach drinking rum.

  47. Rorschach August 15, 2013 at 5:14 pm -      #47

    Jack would get the treasure from whoever has it and switch it with a Jar of Dirt. They wouldn’t know the difference, or that it has been switched, until Jack shows them the treasure.
    “Once the treasure is grabbed, the Admin will fly over the island in a helicopter and land on the beach, waiting to pick up the person that reaches him first.”
    So Admin has to pilot them off the island? Since Admin is in the match too, can’t one of them reach him and hold him hostage or something so that when the one with the treasure comes, they’ll be able to bargain with the person? Or, because there are zombies on the island, wouldn’t they start going to Admin if they aren’t all dead by then? Well, dead again. Can’t Admin kill them all and take the treasure for himself? What if no one makes it to Admin in time and he gets bored and leaves? What about Admin and Spike? What if Spike bribes Admin with money or something and hides out on the helicopter. When the person with the treasure leaves the island, Spike comes in and captures them.

  48. Xornell August 15, 2013 at 5:27 pm -      #48

    I’d say Drake has any physical confrontation due to toonforce. Didn’t he stand upright on an ICBM, and jump to another ICBM? Lolwut?

    I’ve never actually watched Tomb Raider and I’ve only seen the Lost Ark (and the Crystal Skull, unfortunately), so I don’t know much about Indy or Laura. I’ve seen all the PotC, though. Jack’s main weapons are his plot armor and goofy demeanour.

    Laura and Indy probably have this in the treasure-seeking aspect, though.


    I’d say Drake.

  49. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 15, 2013 at 5:36 pm -      #49

    I don’t recall ICBM’s in Uncharted

  50. Shadow-Knight August 15, 2013 at 5:36 pm -      #50

    “Jack’s main weapons are his plot armor and goofy demeanour”

    ——–

    Well if we are going by plot armor, Indy did survive ………. that…… unbelievably stupid refrigerator nuke. If that is not plot armor at its max then I don’t know what is.

  51. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 15, 2013 at 5:44 pm -      #51

    course this is original trilogy Indy meaning Crystal Skull hasn’t happened yet so….

  52. Shadow-Knight August 15, 2013 at 5:57 pm -      #52

    Ha, True…. however, there is this …. original trilogy plot armor:
    {note this is a review by Doug walker of TGWTG.com that was been posted on you tube, all his reviews are for satirical purposes }
    ——
    -the Plot armor is shown in effect from 7:13-8:50 of this review:
    ——-

  53. Shadow-Knight August 15, 2013 at 5:59 pm -      #53

    Note: Doug walker is the one wearing the hat, glasses, and is sitting alone.

  54. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 15, 2013 at 6:20 pm -      #54

    Oh not saying he doesn’t lol, just I don’t know if his anti nuke plot shield applies.
    that said let’s leave the Plot shields off the island otherwise the island would probably absorb them and become batman from the sheer amount of plot shielding.

  55. sadot06 August 15, 2013 at 6:23 pm -      #55

    So Admin has to pilot them off the island?

    Yes


    Since Admin is in the match too, can’t one of them reach him and hold him hostage or something so that when the one with the treasure comes, they’ll be able to bargain with the person?


    The Admin has FTL reactions, Planet level durability, and +300 ton strength, so no.

    Or, because there are zombies on the island, wouldn’t they start going to Admin if they aren’t all dead by then?

    _

    The zombies only guard the temple. They don’t leave until somebody get’s the treasure and then they follow whoever has it. Also see above, Admin would solo.

    Can’t Admin kill them all and take the treasure for himself?


    He could, but he doesn’t need money or care all that much about the treasure.

    What if no one makes it to Admin in time and he gets bored and leaves?


    Admin will only leave if everybody is dead

    What about Admin and Spike? What if Spike bribes Admin with money or something and hides out on the helicopter. When the person with the treasure leaves the island, Spike comes in and captures them.

    The admin won’t take Spike’s money, but Spike is allowed to camp out near the helicopter and attempt to ambush whoever comes out.

  56. Shadow-Knight August 15, 2013 at 6:55 pm -      #56

    “let’s leave the Plot shields off the island otherwise the island would probably absorb them and become batman from the sheer amount of plot shielding.”

    ——-

    Then Jack’s chances of winning just dropped by like 56%, Lara and Nathan’s chances have dropped by 20%, and Indiana’s have dropped by 27%.

  57. Rhododendron August 15, 2013 at 7:45 pm -      #57

    Would an ak-47 count as standard equipment for Drake as he’s started with it in a few chapters? Or will he just his one pistol and a grenade or two?
    ——-
    I’ll root for Drake due to his amazing climbing skills, endurance and the fact he has one of the far smaller bounties thus won’t get hunted down as hard.

  58. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 15, 2013 at 8:02 pm -      #58

    @Rhodo
    I posted his standard, it’s the AK, 45 defender, and 4 grenades.

  59. Rhododendron August 15, 2013 at 8:06 pm -      #59

    @GuardianAngel1911
    Thanks.
    —–
    also are they able to attack spike if he gets close?

  60. Shadow-Knight August 15, 2013 at 8:07 pm -      #60

    Is it only one person that can claim the Treasure, because if they can form alliances I can see Indiana and Lara teaming up like he and Marion did in “Raiders of the Lost Ark” except with Lara pulling more of her own weight. I mean, their is nothing stopping them from splitting the cash they get for selling the Treasure.

  61. Rhododendron August 15, 2013 at 8:09 pm -      #61

    @Shadow-Knight
    I’d think it depends who they meet first. say if spikes chasing them them might assume the rest are his “goons” and whether some are immediately hostile.

  62. Xornell August 15, 2013 at 8:28 pm -      #62

    “I don’t recall ICBM’s in Uncharted”

    You’re right, I’m thinking of another, similar game. After researching it, I found out it was the dude from Just Cause. Therefore I rescind my point about Drake winning, as I know nothing about him.

    This is the scene I was talking about. A little over a minute in.
    www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3wpnXxBt8o

    Jack Sparrow his pretty cool, but he’s pretty out-teched. Standard equipment for him is a sword and an 18th century pistol…

  63. Rhododendron August 15, 2013 at 8:30 pm -      #63

    Wait, wouldn’t jacks compass point him or others to the treasure 0.o ?

  64. Shadow-Knight August 15, 2013 at 8:35 pm -      #64

    Drake’s standard weapon loadout
    AK-47, .45 Defender, and 4 grenades
    ———
    Lara’s standard weapon loadout
    Dual Heckler & Koch USP Match pistols
    ——-
    Indiana Jones’s
    British Webley “WG” Army Model .455 caliber revolver , Bull whip
    ——
    Jack Sparrow’s standard weapon loadout
    twin .50 caliber English flintlock pistols, Jack’s Hanger ( type of cutlasses with a longer blade than the standard model)
    ———————————————————
    I think that is the standard weapon set for all of them, not counting the weapon drops on the island. I am also assuming that they all get compasses, maps, and other general supplies that they will need before they arrive.

  65. Rhododendron August 15, 2013 at 8:36 pm -      #65

    But doesn’t jacks compass canonically point to whatever his heart desires?

  66. Commander Cross August 15, 2013 at 8:41 pm -      #66

    @Sadot06

    Mind doing a match-up between John Williams, Yuki Kajiura and Daisuke Ishiwatari in terms of Best Musical Composer of the Trio, really?
    I would appreciate it deeply if you did that.

  67. Shadow-Knight August 15, 2013 at 8:42 pm -      #67

    “Wait, wouldn’t jacks compass point him or others to the treasure”

    ———-

    Yes, but the 100 + zombies guarding it would be a problem if he went alone. Think about it, what would you do if you had to face down a zombie horde with nothing but a flint lock pistol and a long bladed cutlasses.

  68. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 15, 2013 at 8:45 pm -      #68

    @Shadow-Knight
    depends on if I’m Jack Sparrow or Samurai Jack lol.

  69. Commander Cross August 15, 2013 at 8:47 pm -      #69

    @Admiral at #68

    I don’t think you got Jack on me either way. :cool:

    Though as for the match, this is interesting and even inspires me to attempt to do something like this, sometime.

  70. Amm0vamp1r3 August 15, 2013 at 8:47 pm -      #70

    “flint lock pistol and a long bladed cutlasses.”

    Make it 500 zombies and give me a toothpick and a rubber band and I would be fine

  71. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 15, 2013 at 8:54 pm -      #71

    eh, really I don’t need the sword, I just nuke the fuck out of them with chakra.

  72. Amm0vamp1r3 August 15, 2013 at 8:57 pm -      #72

    Exactly, I have more zombies than that living inside me

  73. Commander Cross August 15, 2013 at 8:59 pm -      #73

    I’m a Badass Army of Badasses. :cool:
    I’ll just wait until you two sort things out like a Boss, unless of course someone’s using the Armor of Lord Vile.

    Anyway, how’s this match thus far?

  74. sadot06 August 15, 2013 at 9:01 pm -      #74

    @Commander Cross

    I’d love to make that match. But no Hans Zimmer or Clint Mansell? They’re my favorites.

  75. sadot06 August 15, 2013 at 9:08 pm -      #75

    As for this match, it seems like it’s pretty even. The consensus seems to be either Lara or Nathan pull it off, or Jack finds a way to steal the treasure after somebody else grabs it. I personally think the latter happens, and then Spike kicks his ass and takes the treasure and then collects the bounty on Jack.

  76. Commander Cross August 15, 2013 at 9:09 pm -      #76

    @Sadot06 at #74

    Invite them over if you like.
    I’m sure there’s another Eastern Composer worth a mention somewhere as well, just the two cases after John Williams are the ones to arrive to mind.
    If I can recall the last one in particular I’d appreciate that.
    I feel sad I’m even forgetting about others, now. :(
    Its happening already.

  77. Commander Cross August 15, 2013 at 9:10 pm -      #77

    @Sadot at #75

    This is good news.
    You’re getting better about matches actually, which is another chunk of bright side news.

  78. Rorschach August 15, 2013 at 9:19 pm -      #78

    If I really wanted too…
    I’d do it with just the pistol and the cutlass. Maybe just the cutlass. And this
    static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/3/30760/632919-rorschach013.jpg
    Though it’s one shot, it’ll be one hell of a shot. And, I could always use it to get me out of being surrounded.

  79. Rorschach August 15, 2013 at 9:22 pm -      #79

    @Commander Cross
    “Mind doing a match-up between John Williams, Yuki Kajiura and Daisuke Ishiwatari in terms of Best Musical Composer of the Trio”
    As Sadot already listed, and, what about Don Davis and Juno Reactor?

  80. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 15, 2013 at 9:25 pm -      #80

    @sadot
    I think it depends on how quickly everyone reaches the temple and treasure room.
    2 people will be traveling around 20 miles (the island is 40 north and south) and 2 15 miles (east and west is 30 miles) and Spike…coming from some other direction between two of the four.
    Which is where the endurance factor for them comes in, getting through the jungle, fighting through the zombies, and getting to the copter with remaining contestants, Spike and zombies chasing him/her. And trying to shoot him/her.

  81. Amm0vamp1r3 August 15, 2013 at 9:28 pm -      #81

    That’s why I think jack dies first, you can’t talk you’re way past zombies they are too stupid all the while the other people are a little past pirate stupid, not a lot but enough

  82. Rorschach August 15, 2013 at 9:47 pm -      #82

    “That’s why I think jack dies first, you can’t talk you’re way past zombies they are too stupid”
    That is zombiecist. They have the inability to speak and communicate as they only devote their strength and effort to eating.

    I think Jack would manipulate whoever he finds into helping him. That’s why, once they’re at the treasure room, he’d run for cover and hide, while they try to fight the zombies. After a few tries from likely all of the others, he’ll run inside in the middle of it all and swap it out for his Jar of Dirt and run off as fast as he can.

  83. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 15, 2013 at 9:48 pm -      #83

    yeah, I don’t know how well his manipulation would work on at least Drake, who as far as I know at least is the only one used to dealing with bastardry like that.

  84. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 15, 2013 at 9:49 pm -      #84

    His best chance for success is manipulation I’ll say that much.

  85. Virgil August 15, 2013 at 9:51 pm -      #85

    Again I see that Indiana is getting thrown out again…

    Indiana is just as capable if not MORE so than Captain Jack! He’s trecked across deserts and gone through multiple jungles, etc. The famous jungle scene where he’s being chased by LOCALS (Who undoubtedly know the place better then he does) and still manages to get away.

    And while Doctor Jones seems to fall for woman alot he still deals with a lot of backstabbing, I don’t see him falling for Captain Jack’s tricks…

  86. Rorschach August 15, 2013 at 10:33 pm -      #86

    “And while Doctor Jones seems to fall for woman alot he still deals with a lot of backstabbing, I don’t see him falling for Captain Jack’s tricks…”
    Well, he has fallen for the tricks of that one guy in Crystal Skull before, thinking he was a triple agent at one point.
    Also, I’m not counting him out, but he is a bit past his prime in the match. Also, with the second highest bounty on his head, and no real ability to manipulate like Jack… He’s kind of on his own for this one.

    That aside, would the combatants know of the bounties on their heads?

    All of this in mind, I have a pretty good idea of how the match would play out. Still going to wait for more clarity on a few things though.

  87. Virgil August 15, 2013 at 10:53 pm -      #87

    @Rorschach

    Well, he has fallen for the tricks of that one guy in Crystal Skull before, thinking he was a triple agent at one point.
    Also, I’m not counting him out, but he is a bit past his prime in the match. Also, with the second highest bounty on his head, and no real ability to manipulate like Jack… He’s kind of on his own for this one.


    Except it says that we are using the original trilogy Indiana Jones so no, he still is in his semi-prime as the Crystal Skull hasn’t happened yet (Which is why the clips of the running through the jungle, the submarine, etc. still apply).

    Jack manipulates grunts really… I don’t understand HOW he manages to manipulate some of those smarter guys (His influence and arguments aren’t that great) but I’m sure it is just PIS which I don’t think should apply in this match…

  88. Amm0vamp1r3 August 15, 2013 at 10:58 pm -      #88

    You know who would have been a better replacement for Jack? Sherlock Holmes

  89. Rorschach August 15, 2013 at 11:01 pm -      #89

    “Except it says that we are using the original trilogy Indiana Jones so no, he still is in his semi-prime as the Crystal Skull hasn’t happened yet”
    I know, but nothing beats your prime. Just ask Optimus.

  90. GuardianAngel1911 the Ten Tails Jinchuriki August 15, 2013 at 11:41 pm -      #90

    @Amm0
    that would have been cool. RDJ Sherlock I’m assuming?

  91. Shadow-Knight August 15, 2013 at 11:48 pm -      #91

    Ok, this is how I think this will go down.
    Through their uncanny luck they all happen to reach the temple around the same time, Jack arrives first and hides near the entrance and begins to wait. Lara and Drake arrive soon after on different sides of the temple and begin to scale the walls to get to openings further up. Indiana Jones arrives last, and heads through the main entrance.
    About an hour has passed before the first of the group finds the treasure chamber; Lara, being one the (imo) most athletic of the group had slipped past the traps with out setting them off, she is now standing in front of a pedestal.
    On the pedestal is a large, jeweled box containing the diamond; however, before she can check for traps Drake drops in and gets the drop on her, forcing Lara to retrieve the box for him. As Lara lifts the box the temple begins to shake and the walls rise up unleashing the zombies.
    Startled by the horde Drake begins firing his Ak into the pack forgetting about Lara just long enough for her to make a break down the hallway. Drake is soon on her tail with the horde on his. Lara, having not come this way when she entered gets caught off guard as a fist flies out around the corner and knocks her to the ground dazing her.
    Indiana pauses for a moment to wonder if he should apologize when he spots Drake and the horde charging towards himself and Lara, who is rapidly gaining consciousness. Before she can react, Indianan snags the chest and bolts back the way he came as Lara picks herself up.
    Jack, hearing all the commotion, positions himself in just the right spot that when Indiana runs out of the temple he smacks right into Jack. Jack, being the cunning man he is, tricks the startled Jones into believing he was sent to help him reach the chopper. Together Jack and Jones disappear into the jungle bound for the beach with Lara and Drake, now helping each other survive, burst from the temple as a pile of rubble collapses, stalling the Zombies.
    Later that day Jones stops to take a drink and get his barring leaving Jack to guard the chest. He is not gone long when Jack runs past yelling at Jones to hurry up, the horde has caught up to them.
    Lara and Drake, not stopping to rest, find the copter waiting on the beach. They approach it in order to ambush Jones when he arrives; however, they themselves are ambushed by Spike Spiegal. The battle lasts several minutes but Lara and Drake manage to over whelm Spike and force him to retreat; however, they cant afford to rest for Jack and Jones, with chest in hand and a horde of Zombies at their back, are now charging for the copter. Lara and Drake hop in and tell the Admin to put the copter in a low hover. Jack yells at Jones to get to the “werlly bird” and that he would lead the horde away so that Jones may make it.
    Jack turns left leading most of the horde further down the beach. Jones reaches the copter but it is hovering to high for him to reach, Lara offers to take the chest so that Jones can jump up and take Drakes hand. With the zombies barring down on him he had little choice, he tossed the chest up into the copter; however, it began to gain altitude. Indiana will not be deterred so easily, he quickly unfurled his whip and, with a lightning crack, wrapped it around one of the copters landing struts and was lifted clear of the ground just as the Zombies reached the edge of the water.
    Thoroughly ticked off, Jones shimmied his way up the whip and hauled himself into the copter; however, instead of surprised looks on the faces of Laura and Drake, they were as ticked as he was. With out uttering a word Jones pulled his whip up and took a seat as Lara took the chest and dumped its contents on the ground reveling nothing but rocks.
    Off in the distance a small make shift dingy drifted on the tide, Jack smiled as the copter disappeared out of sight. Leaning back on the make shift raft wall he raised his hand to the setting sun, letting the last of its light reflect off of the flawless surface of the purple diamond. Then he slipped it into a pouch on his belt, took a long swig of rum and sang out “Drink up me hearties, Yo ho!”
    ==================================
    This has been my interpretation of how this match will play out. Yall like it?

  92. Rorschach August 16, 2013 at 12:14 am -      #92

    “This has been my interpretation of how this match will play out. Yall like it?”
    I was going to do something like this. I actually like it though. Captain Jack Sparrow for the win.

  93. Commander Cross August 16, 2013 at 4:51 am -      #93

    @Grand General Rorschach at #79

    Dang it, I’m still getting forgetful right now!
    Don Davis and Juno Reactor should be added.
    I remember Yuki Kajiura as one of the people behind the music of the dot hack universe, and yes the music’s a major influence on my life.
    Okay so that’s about 8 music Composers, yes?

  94. sadot06 August 16, 2013 at 5:58 am -      #94

    @Commander Cross
    Don Davis, Juno Reactor, Yuki Kajiura, John Williams, Hans Zimmer, Clint Mansell, and Daisuke Ishiwatari. Thats 8. I’d also like to add W.G. Walden Snuffy into the mix.

    @Shadowknight

    That’s pretty good narration. Certainly a possible scenario. Though towards the end I’m not sure how well Lara and Drake can handle Spike. Especially since he’ll likely be armed when he catches them off guard and he’s a damn good gunslinger. Also the Admin won’t take off if the treasure or the appearance of the treasure isn’t with them. The fight doesn’t end until the treasure leaves the island.

  95. Commander Cross August 16, 2013 at 6:04 am -      #95

    @Sadot06 at #94

    Feel free to add W.G Walden Snuffy if you so like. ^_^

  96. Kytheros August 16, 2013 at 6:08 am -      #96

    Yeah, but they all think they’ve got it in the helo in the chest or whatever that it was in. At least, in Shadow-Knight’s narration it was in a chest – Sparrow just pulled a Norrington on them.

  97. Shadow-Knight August 16, 2013 at 8:35 am -      #97

    @sadot06
    That’s why I set it up the way I did, Admin would have saw Indiana running with the chest with the hundred + zombies at his back. And he DIDN’T start to leave until the chest landed on the copter, he jut put it in hover. Remember, the Admin is neutral in this so he doesn’t care who had the chest once it landed in the copter he took off.

    ————–

    Also, I said that they drove Spike back. because, while I don’t know what drake has fought (and he does have that AK). Lara has fought, and killed, Dinosaurs, Gods, Various undead, giant robots, and a crap ton of other things that would make the other crap themselves in fear. With this in mind I have little doubt that she would play a big part in driving Spike off, especially if Spike decides to try and take out Drake considering he LOOKS to be the more dangerous of the two with his AK and grenades.

  98. Shadow-Knight August 16, 2013 at 10:24 am -      #98

    So, does any body else have a similar situation ,like my post at #91, but with a different out come? Or is my post #91 fairly close to how this may actually play out (note I tried to be fair to all the characters when making post #91) and why all agree that Jack “somehow” gets the diamond in the end.

  99. Shadow-Knight August 16, 2013 at 3:34 pm -      #99

    Who wants to be post #100!!!!!!!!!!

  100. Rhododendron August 16, 2013 at 7:42 pm -      #100

    @Shadow-Knight
    ME!
    ——
    *implants flag with gravatar on it* I here by claim post 100 of the match j”ack sparrow vs lara croft vs nathan drake vs indiana jones” in the name of… I Rhododendron.
    ———–
    any way jack gets there first, fights some zombies more easily then in the black pearl, nathan and lara arrive next and start a fight, indy then comes and fights jack, followed by spike who imediatly goes for jack and indy while lara and drake run off with the treasure.

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