Admin’s Note: When I am asked what makes FactPile unique, this is one of those items I send them to. It’s with great anticipation that I present the following:
“What the fuck is this?”, you may be asking yourself. Who the fuck am I, for that matter? To all the noobs around the place, I am the great and venerated Baron Somebody.
About a year ago, I used to create comics using primarily Star Wars action figures that would depict Factpilers in common picaresque scenarios. Alas, times have altered over such a course and many figures were lost due to careless fuckers who ran the first “treatment center” I was at (aka jail for those who are pussies) and I have been unable to replicate such masterpieces. Ah, but as the Slayer song “Evil Has no Boundaries” put it best, “Surviving the slaughters and killing with lust, then we return from the dead. Attacking once more now with twice as much strength, we conquer then move on ahead.”
That is exactly what I plan on enacting, not in the form of bloodshed but I hope through a revamped series of comics I can return Factpile to its former self as a place reveled in merriment. I have around 65 figures, most badass so if you would like to appear in one just comment below and I’ll pick one especially suited to the personality of those enquiring.
To all ancient members of the Pile the majority of everyone’s figures remain with teh exception of Durge, Airborne Trooper and Swamp Trooper. May their souls reside in the sepulchre of eternal exaltion. That’s all I’ve got until the actual comic gets posted. Until then, when that day comes, I hope you find your effigial deaths exciting.
End transmission.
A Tusken Raider and a Pred? Weird
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Anywho, i can’t wait for Barons next comic. Its been ages since one was posted
That’s cyrax you dipshit
Chuck, i don’t see anything relating to Dante here. Now leave
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Anyways. This next comic looks exciting
I should be in on of his comix…
Children, control yourselves.
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Nice to see Baron back.
“Children, control yourselves.”
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I don’t get it
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Barons been on the topia for quite a while now
Well, Baron is back. I wouldn’ t mind much being featured but I’m mostly here to say…FUCK YEAH! I came in from the dying gasps of the middle pile and the new pile is kind of…meh. IT’ll be good to have a whisp of the past back in the present.
@T.C
How the Tartarus did you get kidnapped by those Magi-terrorists and NOT WARN US ABOUT THAT???
This is WORSE than Hawke being flat-out more featless than Mauve Shirts unless you count staying alive(via flukage to rival that of Eragon himself) as a viable feat! (facepalms)
P.S: So the P.Ms back at the Topia?
Why do those two appear to be participating in japanese porn? Who are they representing? This is reflective of which thread? I’m confused and afraid!
@Baron Somebody
I’ve looked through one of your old comics here, and I think I’d like to be in one of your comics
Business buddy, it’s all business. I’ll go to the topia.
Well, I’ll be popping up here more often again if everything turns out right.
@T.C
I’m holding you to your word, alright?
Besides we still got a Project to start furthering the plans upon which, I hope we can suggest the end results together, alright?
P.S: Treat the Project like you would the Rules of Fight Club, alright?
Why not, the previous ones were quite good in opinion.
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Sorry to hear about the loss of figures. I shall miss IG-88.
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@ Sauro
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Use the ‘Related Links,’ they are your friends.
How the hell could you confuse Cyrax with Predator?
I am flabbergasted. Baron returns and Kenny C. makes a post after a long time. What is this?
Kenny C has been on the topia for a while too and hes posted here every now and again
Oooh nice work Baron ^^ Gonna love seeing more of these.
Did you lose the figure you used for me? I’m sure if you did, you will find an even crazier replacement for me. Funny post by the way.
@Krazy*Awesome*Crismore
Is there more to be added?
@T.C
I dunno, I’m just glad someone had the guts to get you out of the hostage situation that the Magi-Terrorists got you with, alright?
I wish to appear in these. 0_0
Lol, Nice pick Krazy. I love that series. It’s a shame that it ended so soon.
@Dr. Doctor
What is the mission of such a task?
Also how do we TOO become Krazy Awesome?
I too wish to become part of such an esteemed tradition, if I am found fit. It would be quite enjoyable.
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@Commander Cross
It is getting harder to read your posts. I am sorry, but you’re throwing some odd references out there. It’s kind of confusing.
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It sure has been a while since I’ve seen Turtle Commando hop around on here. Interesting. And I joined at around the time of Kenny C.’s “Civility in Debate”, even though I posted much less often, then. I guess this is what I get for not going on the Topia.
Yeah, missed you too Aelfinn. Well, my little evening jaunt is done for now. I will do my best to appear regularly again. But for now, Good Bye and Good Night.
@T.C
Just don’t get killed by Magi-Assassins on your way to count sheep, or I’d have to rez you up so I can rekill you myself, alright?
“Lol, Nice pick Krazy. I love that series. It’s a shame that it ended so soon.”
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I thought it had a satisfactorily awesome ending for the style of series it was. Also, the anime is being done really well. The first two episodes are kind of slow because Yukki is a bit of a whiny bitch in those two, but it quickly picks up after that.
I’d better be in the next issue, Baron…I gotz Ancient Aura!
Yeah, I’d like to throw my hat in for a figure match up if you got it.
@Krazy
Isn’t Yuki/Yukki(yeah, the guy named after Zeus’s Roman Yang Side, Jupiter) an expy of Shinji Ikari?(Tsukasa, Gender-flipped case from the .hack-universe notwithstanding, that is?)
Oh what the hell, you can use my name if you want.
Nice to meet you Baron Somebody, your comics are the best. I don’t care what action figure you make, I just request you to put me in your comics.
Wonder who I could be.
“Wonder who I could be.”
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You can be Dante
I soloed before though….
Dante figures are out of stock anyway… so I doubt there’s going to be a Dante figurine in Baron’s comics.
And everyone seeks to be included in the comics. But which of all shall be chosen? Featuring everyone in these comics would be difficult to do without sacrificing story, unless it is done only eventually.
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All I ask is that the local trolls be included for dramatic effect. Unnamed, of course; they shouldn’t receive recognition.
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Scene: “no kratos can run uberspeed ,he would eat that guy with easily”
And then the troll is destroyed by an army of alpacas.
Do one of me (and others) pwning mrgendrons!
sup baron.
Baron’s back on the mainland? Awesome! It’d be cool if I were to appear. (granted you probably have no fucking clue who I am.
)
Admin, I need to to post my Xenomorph vs Polar bear fight within the hour. These shots are coming fast and I want to be sober when I can debate it yes.
“Admin, I need to to post my Xenomorph vs Polar bear fight within the hour. These shots are coming fast and I want to be sober when I can debate it yes.”
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Murder, y u no stop stop stomp match?
Seriously can’t you pay for good matches?
Well lets be honest here, how many good matches actually have good debates. The only good ones are the troll matches where Fanboys fight Fanboys. You cant tell me that when you see a SW vs ST or a W40k vs Marvel matchup you dont go there longing to see a fanboy spitting hyperbole so that you can piss him off. I’ve seen you nerd rage plenty in defense of SW and it amuses me to no end. We need more of that.
“Well lets be honest here, how many good matches actually have good debates. The only good ones are the troll matches where Fanboys fight Fanboys. You cant tell me that when you see a SW vs ST or a W40k vs Marvel matchup you dont go there longing to see a fanboy spitting hyperbole so that you can piss him off.”
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Meh true.
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“I’ve seen you nerd rage plenty in defense of SW and it amuses me to no end. We need more of that.”
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Wut? Are you referring to Starwars vs Halo and Ghor vs Grevious? I was siding with Starwars since it had superior tech and the force against halo, and I was helping Ghor in his fight against Grevious.
No I’m talking about Ahriman vs Darth Malak where you posted as Omega-88. Or are you denying that you are indeed.. Omega-88 .
“No I’m talking about Ahriman vs Darth Malak where you posted as Omega-88. Or are you denying that you are indeed.. Omega-88 .”
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Because I have Omega in my name? So you’re saying Omegaclaws (a guy that appeared in Sylar vs Samus) is omega-88 as well. So you’re saying I’m related to all the omegas? Kinda crazy. Anyway, do you have something against me or some vendetta? I don’t really want grudges against me.
Well you have his last name so either you’re his wife, his seed or his alter ego.
“Well you have his last name so either you’re his wife, his seed or his alter ego.”
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I’m a guy and I’m 14 so no to the wife part. His seed? Nope, isn’t he fifteen or seventeen? Alter ego? Maybe. Anyway, you still haven’t answered my question.
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“Anyway, do you have something against me or some vendetta?”
Nope, I’m just lonely. I’m retiring from the Army this weekend and stuck in Korea. I have no one to talk to and going home to no one so the internet is the only place that I can get some social interaction.
“Well lets be honest here, how many good matches actually have good debates. The only good ones are the troll matches where Fanboys fight Fanboys.”
-So-called “troll matches” do not belong on FactPile. This site is supposed to have good debating, not be the typical fanboy zone of so many other “vs” sites, and Admin and others have worked hard to make and keep it that way. This is why people who can’t argue correctly or adhere to facts get yelled at so much here.
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I propose that the biggest lack of good debating in balanced matches is due to the fact that most well-loved characters have been featured extensively, and now there is nothing left to say about them. We need new characters to make their debuts so that research can be done on them, new facts can be brought forth, and a real debate can take place. When the same old characters are featured, all we have to do is reason in the manner of “5>2″. That’s all we’ve been doing.
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If you’re going to suggest matches for your entertainment, Murder, think about making them ones you can enjoy for a good reason, and not because of fanboys and raging. You’re damaging a site people like, otherwise.
“Nope, I’m just lonely. I’m retiring from the Army this weekend and stuck in Korea. I have no one to talk to and going home to no one so the internet is the only place that I can get some social interaction.”
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Wow, never knew you were in the army. Anyway, thank you for your services and what you have done for our country.
I suggested a pretty damn good one I think; Ahriman vs Dr. Doom and it will be up soon hopefully. I’m waiting for it to get posted. I love good match-ups where people actually invest time into debating them, but It seems nobody actually cares to debate unless it’s to support their ‘team’. I post random ‘fun’ matches ever now and again just because even a site that takes itself as seriously as this one should have a bit of fun. Look at the recent poll for Valentines day, almost a third of the site was pessimistic. We have serious matches every day, if you cant let loose and enjoy one fun match a week then you should probably remove yourself from the internet.
I came at a time when L-W has just recently retired, I never made it to one of Baron’s comics, but I wish I were.
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Hopefully I’ve stayed long enough, and made a big enough impact on FactPile to warrant such a appearance.
“I propose that the biggest lack of good debating in balanced matches is due to the fact that most well-loved characters have been featured extensively, and now there is nothing left to say about them. We need new characters to make their debuts so that research can be done on them, new facts can be brought forth, and a real debate can take place. When the same old characters are featured, all we have to do is reason in the manner of “5>2″. That’s all we’ve been doing.”
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Which is exactly what I’ve been doing, Many of my matches feature a character (or a setting) debuting against a veteran ‘Pile character (MC vs Raynor comes to mind). And I’ll keep doing that until I run out of ideas.
Yes Baron! Haha I still wanna be in it
The only figures I lost were Durge, Airborne Trooper and Barc Trooper…the rest still bask in the glory of the past…
“Look at the recent poll for Valentines day, almost a third of the site was pessimistic.”
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Probably don’t have Girlfriends and thus February the 14th becomes Forever Alone day for them.
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OR they see the day as an opportunity for capitalists to make off the masses.
aint that a sand person?…..i wouldn’t scare him off….they come back in greater numbers you know.
Forever alone day everyday
@Soulerous
I’ve been TRYING to get another Camp Half-Blood indvidual fight planned out, so I can get Nico Di Angelo introduced already, YET EVERYONE’S HELLBENT on pretending CHB’s potential for worthwhile matches doesn’t exist as they do with the elemental compatibilities of the Magic Systems of 2 Worlds I’d side with, if not even WORSE!!!
P.S: Typhon can just devour Hollow Ichigo and make him its eternal Chewtoy, I’m just saying!
Thank God, Baron Somebody’s back.
I would like to be a Rorschach figure, but if you don’t have it, make me a Rick Grimes figure. If you don’t have that…Make me a Wolverine figure. If not that, a Terminator figure. If not that… You’re always good at finding a character that personifies someone on Factpile, so then I’d leave it to you.
@Rorschach
I too am relieved that Baron Somebody’s back.
Its like a family reunion as of late, isn’t it? ^_^’
Now if only SOMEONE can assist me in reason to find a new CHB match to plot out!
Only two actors could possibly portray me, Tom Hanks, or Deadpool. Preferably Tom Hanks because he is the man
*deep sigh*
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@ Commander Cross
Camp Half Blood vs Disney’s Hercules the movie and series.
Camp Half Blood vs Fullmetal Alchemist. Father is three days away from absorbing Amestris.
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Camp Half Blood vs Warcraft. No Burning Legion
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Camp Half Blood vs Fairy Tail
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Camp Half Blood vs Elfen Lied
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Take your pick.
@Lieutenant
Either Fairy Tail or FullMetal Alchemist would make for Win-Filled opponents, if you ask me.
Depends….we got guys who can keep Norris busy in this one to deadlock him so we can fight off the rest?
What about the World of Scott Pilgrim, or even(should the weapons on both sides be allowed to harm each other and neither side is permitted to simply blink the other out of existence) Mirai Nikki/Future Diary, for that matter?
Camp Half Blood vs Disney’s Sky High and The Incredibles.
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Camp Half Blood vs X-Men
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Camp Half Blood vs PPG
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Camp Half Blood vs American Gods by Neil Gaiman
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Camp Half Blood vs Digimon, Zeedmilleniummon is not allowed.
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Camp Half Blood vs Gundam
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Does my sudden barrage of suggestions make me look like I snapped?
@Lieutenant
Easy there, I mean no harm, honest.
Also depends on which individual M.S.G-verse you’re talking about, and whether or not C.H.B gets prep-time to plan out Space Fleets to fight back, accordingly to not get boned by all the factions of THAT individual universe in question.
C.H.B vs Alagaesia?
Hey, maybe I can get in on one; if you have the figure for it that is. What do you say Baron?
Here’s an idea for a comic, if ever Baron’s listening: Classification of Commenters
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Ever since the advent of the internet, the human race has further evolved into many different categories. To ease the burden of classifying the many subhumans that have started emerging, scientists began to categorize them based upon the quality and quantity of their written presence on the internet, commonly called comments.
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The first category is the Homo sapiens idiotus, more well known as the Troll. This type of human can be found in almost all websites that allow for commenting
Other humans have regarded this type as pests, often littering the comments section of most sites with worthless posts and racial slurs. Debate sites are the ones where they are most prevalent, as the endless number of topics feed the Troll’s hunger for repeating their ideas over and over again, even though the argument has been solved long aften he has posted.
It is recommended to be either ignore them, or to be merciless and cruel around these types of humans.
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The next type is the Homo sapiens normallus, the common poster.
The entire internet is swarming with this type of human, and whie their posts are more understandable than Trolls, they don’t usually pay much attention to their comments, preferring to stay in the background observing the exchange of profanity between Trolls and other posters.
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Next is the Homo sapiens veteranus, as the name suggests, the veteran poster.
These men and women are a rare breed of poster, and their posts are often laden with so much information that, in debate sites, they can sometimes turn the course of a debate upside down single-handedly.These types of humans are treasured and revered in the websites they inhabit.
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Though the type of human called Homo sapiens moderatus was proposed, there have been arguments that Moderators, as the people with this type are called, can easily be any of the three other types, and their only distinction is that they have the ability to control websites.
@Eric
What say you to Camp Half-Blood vs Alagaesia, in fact?
@Lieutenant
Where do the Flamers fit in, to be sure?
@ Commander
They are a subcategory of Homo sapiens idiotus.
@Lieutenant
Even though Flamers and Trolls aren’t the exact same thing, right?
Fair enough.
@ Commander
Homo sapiens idiotus are commonly called Trolls, but they can also be called fanboys and flamers.
Vote for Dante on Dante vs Kratos
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Dante needs an FP Award
@Lieutenant
Due to the majority of them qualifying as the former, right?
Fair enough…admittedly although I hope I’m no troll at all, I used to qualify as a flamer before I got to factpile, would you believe me if I mentioned it, now?
@ Commander
@Lieutenant
Thanks a lot, alright?
Vote for Dante!
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Need needs his award over Kratos
A double award day for X and Dante over their respective matches with Samus and Kratos would be quite nice, but still unlikely to happen.
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As for Baron’s comic, I wouldn’t mind being a bystander in it. I tend to lurk most of the time so Baron, if you happen to have a giant eyeball figure, it’d be perfect!
Where do I fit in, with a crowning moment of awesome?
“A double award day for X and Dante over their respective matches with Samus and Kratos would be quite nice, but still unlikely to happen.”
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it happened before last year with the Pittsburgh Steelers Vs Green Bay Packers and Castle Base Halo Vs Stargate Command SG-1 getting awards on the same day
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Don’t see why we can’t do it here
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Capcom characters for the FP Award!
“Don’t see why we can’t do it here
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Capcom characters for the FP Award!”
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Ah, didn’t know there was already a precedent for a double award. In that case, a pair of Capcom-themed awards would be amazing.
“Ah, didn’t know there was already a precedent for a double award. In that case, a pair of Capcom-themed awards would be amazing.”
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Yeah, that theme just occurred to me.
Admin? Is it possible to do this?
@ theobserver
I’m thinking Baron would simply take a table tennis ball with an eye drawn by a marker to be your representation.
Don’t forget, Lady GaGa for the factpile award in Lord Aizen vs Kratos!!! 1+
I’m looking forward to seeing the golden days of Factpile. Nice to see Baron again.
@Orpheus
Where in Tartarus were you?
I would like to be in one of these…Don’t care what would portray me really.
Same here
I should write a story based on FactPile Fight Day.
I mean hell, if we’re going with a factpile brawl, count me in too.
@ ptaine
www.factpile.com/5592-factpile-fight-day/
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If I find the time, I’ll be making a story based on that.
That should be pretty epic I would say…
Prologue
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-Unknown Location-
A man was sitting at his desk, signing some papers. He was wearing what seemed to be a simple white polo shirt and black jeans. Yet the simple fact that he was sitting in a desk, inside a large room, completely furnished with all of life’s luxuries, meant that he was clearly an important man.
There was a knock on the door, and the man looked up from his work
“Come in.”
Two men in masks entered. They were wearing black jackets and black pants. The man, seemingly unfazed, spoke.
“Is there anything I can help you with boys?”
The two visitors looked at each other, before pulling out guns.
“Yes, we would like for you to die.”
The man chuckled. “Well, you can surely try,” he said, before adopting a serious expression.
The two intruders have barely pulled the trigger when two shots were heard, and they fell over dead.
The man looked up, and he saw a guy wearing a brown long-sleeved shirt and a skull face hanging from the ceiling. He smiled.
“I appreciate the rescue Baron, but is it not needed.”
Baron jumped from the ceiling. “I know Admin, but I was bored, so I hired those goons to try and kill you, so I can kill them.”
Admin shook his head. “You are the worst, but you have a point. It has been pretty quiet around here in FactPile, it would do good for some good natured violence, what do you say?”
“Of course!” replied Baron.
Admin stood up, he walked over to a computer and reached for the headphone. With a commanding voice, he said.
“To all FactPilers within the sound of my voice, you are to come to headquarters immediately. I repeat, come to HQ at once. Bring weapons with you.” He said, before pulling out his phone to send messages
-A house on the outskirts of town-
A young man dressed in a brown jacket and gray pants was cooking his meal, enjoying the scenery before him. He chose this particular location to put his in because he liked the peace and quiet, and because no one will disturb him.
He was just adding salt to the eggs when his phone ringed.
He reached for it, and found that there was a message.
‘Hermit, go to HQ now, bring weapons. Admin.’
Hermit sighed. He went inside the house, and opened a cabinet. Inside was a pair of gloves bristling with metal spikes, underneath that were boots, also laden with spike. He put those on, went outside the house and locked it.
He looked left and right, before vanishing in flash of white.
-Somewhere in town-
A man was reading a book entitled Advanced Magic. He was currently on break from his work and was spending it reading his book. He was on chapter thirty seven when he heard a voice in his head.
‘Mata, go now to the headquarters, bring your arsenal, Admin.”
Mata closed his book. He reached for a drawer, and took out another book, this one called Killing Spells and Related Magic.
A burst of light suddenly engulfed him, and when it faded, Matapiojo was nowhere to be found.
-Still another location-
“So are we in agreement that something should be done with the lack of ,hack advertisements?”asked a man wearing a gentleman’s attire and a carefree expression.
“Yes, but other franchises must also be similarly addressed,” replied another man, this time donning a shirt and pants with a lizard theme.
“I agree with G.B.”, butted in someone whose clothes remind one of the charater Zeratul.
“Very well,” said the first man.
‘Commander Cross, you and the Knights of Ramstein are needed in headquarters, bring your weapons, Admin.’
Cross smiled. “Well, let’s get going.”
And he and the others left the room
-A dark alley-
The street has seen better days, its once clean road was now littered with the body parts of thieves. In the very center of the street, and man with sunglasses and a coat with a high collar stood, his blade dripping with blood.
He looked up when Admin’s voice entered his mind.
‘L-W old friend, I’m sorry for pulling you away from your duties, but your presence is needed at headquarters, Admin.’
L-W nodded. He turned off his lightsaber, and walked out of alley.
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What do you guys think?
@Ptaine
THIS.
IS.
WIN!!!!!!!!!
Although its spelt .hack, not ,hack, but otherwise that’s pretty much accurate, in fact.
That actually sounds like the kind of thing I would gladly say, under better days, in fact!
So When do I get any uber-weapons and Time-Stopping or Time-Slowing Chronmantic Powers?
Also, how fare you with the Camp Half-Blood novels by Rick Riordan, for that matter?
I want in on this convention of fat, bearded men.
@Lizard God
Great to have you with us as well, alright?
Now we need Officer N.Z and Messenger OriginalA to go along with the epic campaign Ptaine’s plotting out, and it will be nothing short of mindblowing, to say the least, right?
Where’s Captain(Cpt.) Olimar when you need him?
Or General Blood-Dancer, for that matter?
@ Sauro
Huh?
I desire to be depicted as an incredibly stupid loser who is a serious danger to everyone because he fails on such an epic level constantly. Kinda like.. Coop.. oddly