What if…You Were a Henchmen for The Monarch?

You were a henchman for the Monarch

Suggested by Megaraptor18

Frankly, I’ve never heard of Venture Bros or The Monarch before this request, however, if you were a henchmen…

Would you be a good Henchmen?
Do you think you can survive your new work environment?
What would you expect of your ‘job’?
What other implications to the Venture Bros world may there be?

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67 Comments on "What if…You Were a Henchmen for The Monarch?"

  1. Lowk October 3, 2011 at 7:57 am -      #1

    Quit. I wouldn’t stay in a work environment where I have to dress as a butterfly and have to fight someone like Brock Samson.

  2. Hermit October 3, 2011 at 8:01 am -      #2

    What Lowk said.

  3. Laharl October 3, 2011 at 8:26 am -      #3

    What Hermit said.

  4. Definitely not Lowk October 3, 2011 at 8:43 am -      #4

    What Laharl said.

  5. Evil muNki October 3, 2011 at 8:52 am -      #5

    You made a new account for that comment? Than’s fantastic! Didn’t even bother to change the gravatar as well :-D

  6. Hermit October 3, 2011 at 9:01 am -      #6

    @ Munki
    Why did you break the ‘What ___ said.’ chain?

  7. The_Assassin711 October 3, 2011 at 9:16 am -      #7

    Considering how many of the Monarch’s henchmen die in every episode he is in I would probably quit the moment I see Brock Sampson and get the hell out of there…

  8. Evil muNki October 3, 2011 at 9:22 am -      #8

    What Hermit and The_Assassin711 said

  9. Not Evil muNki October 3, 2011 at 9:26 am -      #9

    God! muNki is a noob.

  10. Overlord Lowktastic III, Supreme General of the Factpiloverse October 3, 2011 at 9:28 am -      #10

    “You made a new account for that comment?”

    I’m to lazy to for that.

  11. Commander Cross October 3, 2011 at 9:34 am -      #11

    @General Lowk

    So in any case, where can we expect to assemble the forces, once the civil war begins?

  12. Evil muNki October 3, 2011 at 9:34 am -      #12

    @not evil munki
    You made an account to tell me i’m a noob? Sir, would you kindly fuck off.

  13. Carmine October 3, 2011 at 11:40 am -      #13

    What Lowk said.

  14. Not Evil muNki October 3, 2011 at 11:48 am -      #14

    @evil munki

    Ohhh… Big words coming from a NOOB!!!!!!!!!!!! Go back in the closet.

  15. Carmine October 3, 2011 at 11:51 am -      #15

    @Not Evil muNki

    shhhhhhhh your ruining it!

    P.S It posted two hours ago n00b -_-

  16. Evil muNki October 3, 2011 at 11:54 am -      #16

    You know what? You must be one of those sad lurkers who do nothing but read other peoples comments and wait for an opportunity to troll. I was told that people like you were purged from this site some tima ago. Seems there is one last stragler that needs to go.

  17. shaun182 October 3, 2011 at 11:56 am -      #17

    Quit and go work for Dr Henry Killinger

  18. Not Evil muNki October 3, 2011 at 12:00 pm -      #18

    Sad lurker?! Where do you live? Maybe we can settle this like men and a boy *snort*, Because if i do find out where you live, there will be some lurking, yes there will…

  19. Carmine October 3, 2011 at 12:12 pm -      #19

    @Not Evil muNki

    Get the fuck out of here

  20. Not Evil muNki October 3, 2011 at 12:18 pm -      #20

    I’ll go, but i’ll be back… and with greater numbers. You have made an enemy this day MuNki, we shall duel again!

  21. Carmine October 3, 2011 at 12:20 pm -      #21

    *sigh* trolls are so annoying

  22. Not Evil muNki October 3, 2011 at 12:24 pm -      #22

    Aren’t they, go home Munki… or don’t, after all, I am a lurker… Muah ha ha ha ha ha ha

  23. AkumaTh October 3, 2011 at 12:27 pm -      #23

    Brock Samson would probably get me before I even had the chance to quit. So I would just salute the Monarch right before Brock rips out my heart with his bare hands.

  24. Carmine October 3, 2011 at 12:28 pm -      #24

    GET THE F*** OUT YOU ANNOYING B*TCH

    p.s sorry for my language admin.

  25. Not Evil muNki October 3, 2011 at 12:37 pm -      #25

    Just remember this Munki… In the brightest day, in the blackest night, no Evil muNki shall escape my sight, let those who worship evil munKi’s might, beware my power, GREEN LANTERNS LIGHT!

  26. Carmine October 3, 2011 at 12:39 pm -      #26

    Stop quoting american dad faggot.

  27. Not Evil muNki October 3, 2011 at 12:53 pm -      #27

    Come now munki, climb out of the hole in which you are hiding and FIGHT ME!!! Stop hiding behind your keyboard and grow a pair of balls! I’m a black belt in Karate!

  28. Carmine October 3, 2011 at 12:56 pm -      #28

    What is Karate supposed to do with this? Get on topic or leave the fact pile.

  29. Evil muNki October 3, 2011 at 12:58 pm -      #29

    Wow, it’s amazing what some people will do when they are bored. I think you need to take a break and get down from that pedestal you’re on. Oh, and did you really just rearange the Green lantern quote and put muNki in it?

  30. Envoy October 3, 2011 at 1:19 pm -      #30

    I’d prolly play double agent for someone else, Monarc is kool but that jog lowers my life expectancy to a whopping 3 days.

  31. Overlord Lowktastic III, Alpha President of the Omniverse October 3, 2011 at 1:31 pm -      #31

    I change my answer,
    1.I’d stay then become as badass as #21
    2.Fight Brock
    3.Win respect knuckles
    4.?????
    5.Profit

    Probably quit and become a villain or hero… most likely villain.

    “So in any case, where can we expect to assemble the forces, once the civil war begins?”

    …… Earth? Earth plus a few galaxies?

    @Evil munKni
    Are you arguing with yourself or is it someone else? If it the former lol if it the latter double lol.

    On a separate note I’ve discovered I can make the text box bigger as I type. I shall name this the Lowktastic expansion method™.

  32. Asger October 3, 2011 at 1:44 pm -      #32

    Death by Brock Samson is the only outcome.

    Even if you quit.

  33. Overlord Lowktastic III, Alpha President of the Omniverse October 3, 2011 at 1:53 pm -      #33

    “Death by Brock Samson is the only outcome.”

    There are other ways:
    Death by Monarch
    Death by knife wielding Murderous Moppets
    Death by falling
    Death by gangster
    Death by science gone
    Death by robot
    Death by explosion
    Death by Death
    Death by magic murder bag
    etc

    Brock is just one of the worst of them.

  34. Megaraptor18 October 3, 2011 at 1:54 pm -      #34

    You guys are forgetting that Henchmen for the monarch does have a great time

    www.youtube.com/watch?v=gG1Adn9pq_4&feature=related

    Also don’t tell me you don’t want to be apart of this action

    www.youtube.com/watch?v=tz4PdpfI7zY

    “Considering how many of the Monarch’s henchmen die in every episode he is in I would probably quit the moment I see Brock Sampson and get the hell out of there…”

    Don’t forget the Monarch has been known to kill his men for no reason.

  35. Mister Teal October 3, 2011 at 1:56 pm -      #35

    I’d assassinate Monarch with a poison dart or one of his other weapons and take control over everything myself and just eventually change the looks of it all. He has some “okay” tech what with large weapon supply and floating bases and such. It just 1) looks ridiculous and 2) 99% of the occupants (including him) are terribly incompetent.

    I’d probably do something that violates Guild law though, so I’d take precaution to contact them before most moves. But I’d rather work FOR the Guild of Calamitous Intent rather than just be a part of it, because their agents have some pretty good weapons like that paralyzing gas and such.

    So: kill Monarch, assume control of hive and henchmen, then try and become head of a paramilitary branch of the Guild of Calamitous Intent with my new army. Or just drop out of Monarch’s service at the beginning and join the Guild straight off if that’s possible, but it’d be better if I was able to merge my own forces with them and become a higher-ranking member with underlings.

  36. The_Assassin711 October 3, 2011 at 1:59 pm -      #36

    “Brock is just one of the worst of them.”

    And one of the most effective, some of the others on that list at least have a possibility of not killing you…. (Magic Murder Bag for example…)

    “Don’t forget the Monarch has been known to kill his men for no reason.”

    -Gulp-

    *Files applcation for transfer to Underland* (Actually… that place might be more dangerous than the cocoon on second thought…)

  37. lancer_AR October 3, 2011 at 4:09 pm -      #37

    what if I was a henchman for the monarch? Easy I would never be a henchman for the monarch

    while I suppose they’re supposed to be criminals most other illegal activities are far safer then working for him (and much less humiliating when it comes to apparel)

  38. ZomB of Malchior, The Great and Powerful Supreme Emperor of Time and Space October 3, 2011 at 4:22 pm -      #38

    I would quit, and start a pastry business.

  39. Hitman H94 October 3, 2011 at 4:29 pm -      #39

    No idea what this is at all but all of the above.

  40. Megaraptor18 October 3, 2011 at 4:44 pm -      #40

    “*Files applcation for transfer to Underland* (Actually… that place might be more dangerous than the cocoon on second thought…)”

    That place is under Baron Underbite since once you reach the age of either 36 or 46 you are put to death since you are no longer any use to Underland

  41. Overlord Lowktastic III, Alpha President of the Omniverse; Superintendent of Reality October 3, 2011 at 4:51 pm -      #41

    “I would quit, and start a pastry business.”

    Pastries sold by the Supreme Emperor of Time and Space? lol

  42. starfox412 October 3, 2011 at 5:02 pm -      #42

    id quit…matter of fact id never start have ya’ll senn wat brock does to people

  43. Turtle Commando October 3, 2011 at 5:36 pm -      #43

    I would probably steal some kidneys and do stupid stuff.

  44. ZomB of Malchior, The Great and Powerful Supreme Emperor of Time and Space October 3, 2011 at 8:58 pm -      #44

    “Pastries sold by the Supreme Emperor of Time and Space? lol”

    Yup, gives people incentive to buy more knowing I can send them to the dark ages.

  45. Deus Ex Machina October 3, 2011 at 9:15 pm -      #45

    You guys need friends…that is all.

  46. Turtle Commando October 3, 2011 at 9:17 pm -      #46

    That’s rude Deus. Your one to talk with your name.
    As an aside, I take it nobody got the kidney reference?

  47. Soldier's Shadow October 3, 2011 at 9:29 pm -      #47

    What’s….with the use of the really long titles? Were we each distributed one or is life that boring?

  48. Soldier's Shadow October 3, 2011 at 9:30 pm -      #48

    Fo shame, ZomB! No mention of MGS in your title at all? Not even Outer Heaven?

    You’re just letting Sorrow win the contest of the site’s biggest MGS fan…

  49. Commander Cross October 3, 2011 at 9:37 pm -      #49

    Metal Gear Solid’s storylines are made of win.
    That is all, thank you.

    Now when will Snake get more fights that require him to have unlimited ammo, unless its a stealth-based race to a vital destination?

  50. ss October 3, 2011 at 11:29 pm -      #50

    i would mess around for a few seasons, never doing anything important. it worked for henchmen 21 and 24, and with a 50% survival rate(more than most lol) and a 505 chance of becoming a bad ass

  51. Mike October 4, 2011 at 12:04 am -      #51

    try to reach that level of invulnerable yet expendable that 21 and 24 have…..not like poor poor Speedy….Let me tell you a story about a little henchman named Speedy…

  52. Xeno Dimentio October 4, 2011 at 4:27 pm -      #52

    BLECK!!! What happened to Factpile? off for a day. Anyway if i were a henchmen he would win that mucch more.

  53. ss October 4, 2011 at 7:39 pm -      #53

    @mike
    or henchman 1

  54. Turtle Commando October 4, 2011 at 7:41 pm -      #54

    “or henchman 1″
    I am sorry my good man. But I lolled.

  55. Commander Cross October 5, 2011 at 11:54 pm -      #55

    @Xeno Dimentio

    Is your power levels over 9000, yet?

  56. X January 25, 2012 at 12:00 am -      #56

    i’d wait for the right time to double cross him

  57. cdowg July 24, 2012 at 8:31 pm -      #57

    i would have a sexual affair orgy style relationship with dr girlfriend and several other dudes so we can have all sorts of one girl many guys style fun. and design weapons and gadgets for evil purposes. wink wink.

  58. mrgendrons 2.0 July 24, 2012 at 8:37 pm -      #58

    Id work for him. but they’d have to have one hell of a hell of a health care system and give some good damn pay. I’d probably do my best to avoid fights…. In the end I’d probably join the venture bro’s side. but definitely not in uniform……

  59. cdowg July 25, 2012 at 11:18 am -      #59

    i also get predator style wrist blades on both arms and special mask with diferent vision mode like thermal,night vision,special scaning things mode.all predator mask vision modes and some more cool ones,still going with my affair though, dont blame me, blame newgrounds.com‘s adult art section. i still like other newgrounds stuff though, like games and movies that are only pg 13 or e for everyone.

  60. Sauroposeidon July 25, 2012 at 11:20 am -      #60

    …………..

  61. cdowg July 25, 2012 at 11:40 am -      #61

    what i like avp and the parody webcomic alp(alien loves predator) my favorite is the city hunter from pred 2,also i like the avp:r pred(his oficial nickname is wolf) because his mask is city’s but with added thorn/spikes things around the rim of it.

  62. itcheyness July 25, 2012 at 11:57 am -      #62

    Well, it’s nice to see the short bus made it home safely…

  63. Sauroposeidon July 25, 2012 at 11:59 am -      #63

    I like it when there’s a guy around who makes me feel better about myself.

  64. cdowg July 25, 2012 at 12:01 pm -      #64

    like an L,O,S,E,or R train in that order,hey!That spells loser! maybe an S train after that to make it plural

  65. cdowg July 25, 2012 at 12:05 pm -      #65

    oh,wait i thought you said train instead of bus,sorry,i still made an alp reference.if you say that its against the rules my reply is as follows: SCREW THE RULES!I HAVE MONEY!

  66. itcheyness July 25, 2012 at 12:06 pm -      #66

    @Sauro I guess, this kid is like DReager1 if DReager1 was also a raging asshole besides being a brain dead moron…
    -
    @cdowg You know you’re not supposed to use the internet without mom’s permission right?

  67. cdowg July 25, 2012 at 12:09 pm -      #67

    YOUR MOTHER PLAYS CARD GAMES IN HELL!!!

    sorry that was some hobo who typed that in,good thing he didnt post it.

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