Master Chief vs Salad Fingers

Master Chief vs Salad Fingers

Scenario: Salad Fingers is looking out the window of his shack…
Salad Fingers: Oh…look, it’s Master Chief, returned from the great war…
Master Chief cautiously approaches the door as Salad Fingers opens it.
Salad Fingers: Hello…Master…Chief. Did you bring me a rusty bullet shell for me to lick? I do so…love the texture…of the…bullet…shell…
MC: WTF?
Salad Fingers lurches toward the Chief to touch his armor only to be met with the invisible shield’s charge.
Salad Fingers: Oh! Master Chief!…How…impulsive…That feeling was much like when I…licked that light bulb…

What happens next?

Related Posts:



Read before commenting! We welcome constructive comments and allow any that meet our common sense criteria. This means being respectful and polite to others. It means providing helpful information that contributes to a story or discussion. It means leaving links only that substantially add further to a discussion.

Comments being disrespectful to others or otherwise violating what we believe are common sense standards of discussion can lead to the banhammer getting used. You can read more about our comments policy here.



117 Comments on "Master Chief vs Salad Fingers"

  1. x on April 1, 2009 at 3:47 am -      #1

    Master Chief can Salad Fingers do anything to him???

  2. Space marine April 1, 2009 at 4:06 am -      #2

    WTF! Admin, Are you alright with all the sub posts under the pictures lately….

  3. Only The Nose Knows April 1, 2009 at 4:25 am -      #3

    MC has to lose, Salad Fingers gets inside your head and fills you up with so much fear you don’t know what to do.

  4. Thepocalypse April 1, 2009 at 4:54 am -      #4

    Master Chief will die. He won’t see it coming, he won’t know how or when, it’ll just happen. He’ll be taken in by offers of tea and snacks, removing his armor and putting his weapons down at the door. Then, it’s only a matter of time before Salad Fingers cracks and tears his eyes out like he did to the only other person he’s spoken to.

  5. Rob (Expertimp) April 1, 2009 at 10:27 am -      #5

    MC tosses some Salad today

  6. The One Sin April 1, 2009 at 3:35 pm -      #6

    MC cannot fight the psychological terror caused by salad fingers.

  7. Baron Somebody April 1, 2009 at 4:39 pm -      #7

    I agree, all the people in Salad Fingers die eventually…and Salad Fingers is awesome, so I would say him

  8. Space marine April 1, 2009 at 4:43 pm -      #8

    I guess MC can just say “WHAT THE HELL!” and then salad fingers would go into a Mental breakdown….

  9. the_man_with The_Answers April 1, 2009 at 6:17 pm -      #9

    *MC cannot fight the psychological terror caused by salad fingers.*

    If MC can fight for 24 hours+, I think he can stand whatever salad fingers can dish out. Plus MC admits that he gets scared all the time in the novels, but he pushs it all the way back in his head. Psychological terror is the only weapon salad fingers has, when that fails he is worth nothing in a battle.

  10. marche April 1, 2009 at 7:14 pm -      #10

    and salad fingers is going to…….?

  11. Thepocalypse April 2, 2009 at 4:43 am -      #11

    Master Chief has never been horrified on a Salad Fingers level. He’ll die within the day.

  12. fooby April 2, 2009 at 9:58 am -      #12

    link to vdeo if no one has seen

  13. Zach V April 2, 2009 at 9:02 pm -      #13

    link to video if no one has seen
    www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3iOROuTuMA&feature=related

    Now I am forever scarred.

  14. Just A Gamer April 3, 2009 at 1:48 am -      #14

    Umm, seriously this Salad Fingers guy is just creepy, not scary. That and I doubt a guy who looks like that could lure Master Chief into any kind of trap. MC should know by now that if something talking to you is that ugly, you just shoot it. Not to mention how could Salad Fingers possibly harm Master Chief?

  15. L-W April 3, 2009 at 2:11 am -      #15

    Salad Fingers has no reason to harm Master Chief, in fact I should imagine their encounter would be quite pleasant, despite his initial reaction.

  16. Thepocalypse April 3, 2009 at 4:31 am -      #16

    Yes, because we all know the Chief is an idiot who shoots everything in sight *cough*Kharn*cough*. He’d investigate, deem Salad Fingers to be no threat, and try to befriend him, like all of the others. Salad Fingers can bite through a skull with no real effort, I think he could do some damage.

  17. the_man_with The_Answers April 3, 2009 at 7:37 pm -      #17

    How could MC be scared? He fought the Flood contiously. The Flood is way more scary than Salad Fingers. Oh and I don’t think Salad Fingers will be able to bite through MC. Even without his armour his bones are bassically indestructable, giving MC time to react. If Salad Fingers even atempted to attack he would be dead in less than 10 seconds.

  18. the_man_with The_Answers April 3, 2009 at 7:40 pm -      #18

    *Yes, because we all know the Chief is an idiot who shoots everything in sight *

    MC passed the UNSC Naval acadamy, has bioaugumetations that increase intelagence and he has more than 20 years of combat expierience.Thats no idiot.

  19. Cpt Olimar April 3, 2009 at 8:34 pm -      #19

    the man….. he was being sarcastic i believe.

  20. Baron Somebody April 3, 2009 at 9:11 pm -      #20

    @Thepcoalypse

    “Salad Fingers can bite through a skull with no real effort, I think he could do some damage”

    Lol that made me laugh…but they would become friends and then Salad Fingers would get genetic alterations and armor and then he too could become a Spartan

  21. Thepocalypse April 3, 2009 at 9:21 pm -      #21

    “MC passed the UNSC Naval acadamy, has bioaugumetations that increase intelagence and he has more than 20 years of combat expierience.Thats no idiot.”
    Your failure to recognize sarcasm shall never cease to amaze me.
    “Even without his armour his bones are bassically indestructable”
    I believe that would be Wolverine. MC is not God, contrary, apparently, to your beliefs. A mutant being who survived a massive war ending in nuclear holocaust who regularly murders (unwittingly or otherwise) victims much stronger and faster than he would not “be dead in less than 10 seconds”.

  22. Baron Somebody April 3, 2009 at 9:59 pm -      #22

    I’d say Salad Fingers becomes a Spartan and he would appear in Halo 4: The 4th game only created to make even more money that Microsoft doesn’t need…and you would kill Brutes and Elites with a rusty spoon

  23. the_man_with The_Answers April 4, 2009 at 11:20 am -      #23

    Lol Salad Fingers in Halo 4. That would be weird and awsome at the same time. But I don’t know if Salad Fingers could be a SPARTAN-II, but possibly a SPARTAN-III with some training.

  24. Baron Somebody April 4, 2009 at 3:45 pm -      #24

    The armor would fit and such but he would need special gloves

  25. the_man_with The_Answers April 5, 2009 at 10:26 am -      #25

    Lol, very special gloves.

  26. Master Arbiter(Spartan G44) April 10, 2009 at 6:25 pm -      #26

    Master Chief would shoot himself.

  27. Sithis57 April 14, 2009 at 9:33 pm -      #27

    I cannot believe people are saying Salad Fingers. Master Chief would never be an idiot and go into his house. He’s smarter than that. He would just gun him down as soon as he had the chance.

  28. Space marine April 14, 2009 at 10:40 pm -      #28

    “I cannot believe people are saying Salad Fingers. Master Chief would never be an idiot and go into his house. He’s smarter than that. He would just gun him down as soon as he had the chance.”

    I TOLD YOU HE WAS TWELVE!

  29. Just A Gamer April 17, 2009 at 8:30 am -      #29

    Umm.. I stand by Master Chief ftw.

    I just wanted to inform Thepocalypse that MC’s bones really are supposedly indestructible. It’s stated pretty clearly in the book “Fall of Reach”

  30. Thepocalypse April 17, 2009 at 8:45 am -      #30

    @Just a gamer
    They’re strong, not indestructible.

  31. Just A Gamer April 17, 2009 at 9:55 am -      #31

    Halo : The Fall Of Reach.
    And I quote “1. Carbide ceramic ossi cation: advanced material grafting onto skeletal structures to make bones virtually unbreakable.”

    There close enough

  32. Thepocalypse April 17, 2009 at 10:09 am -      #32

    @Just a Gamer
    Clear hyperbole, and the use of the word virtually means they’re not truly indestructible.

  33. Just A Gamer April 18, 2009 at 12:17 am -      #33

    So now you’re arguing with the book? Spectacular, I thought this website was called “Fact”Pile

  34. AlphaCommando April 18, 2009 at 1:48 am -      #34

    It is a hyperbole, Spartans have broke bones before or came close to damaging their bones. I could say that a Knight in his armor was “virtually indestructible” in his time, does that make him as tough as a tank, no it certainly does not.

    The terminology “Carbide ceramic ossification” I would assume means that the bones are coated in or grafted with a ceramic/carbide (replacing the bones would be foolish on a biological level). This would give a Spartan very tough bones no doubt, but that is relative, the bones are “virtual indestructible” when faced with the average combat duress of a solider, getting run over by a tank or being hit with a high-caliber KEP is going to break those bones easily.
    In actuality is seems silly to craft such a material onto the bone, the advantages of the human body is its ability to self-heal, the human body is incapable of repairing the ceramic sub-structure by its self requiring extensive surgery to just fix any individual bone. This is of course looking at it outside of the “what sounds cool factor” I’m sure the writer was aiming for.

    FactPile indeed…

  35. Cpt Olimar April 18, 2009 at 2:04 am -      #35

    yea, wouldn’t it be better to genetically enhance the human bones than to add artificial stuff? Considering how much force our bones can handle considering its mass, its actually pretty strong. Enhance that even farther, and then you have a self-repairing monster armor :D

  36. Thepocalypse April 18, 2009 at 6:20 am -      #36

    @Just A Gamer
    Alpha got it. Most books on powerful characters contain hyperbole, we have to ignore it, hero shields, and other plot devices if we’re to discern facts. Hence Factpile.

  37. the_man_with The_Answers April 18, 2009 at 9:40 am -      #37

    SPRTAN’s bones heal. Still why in God’s name would he take off his helmet? There is no way SF can get though his armour or even shields. This is no contest.

  38. the_man_with The_Answers April 18, 2009 at 9:45 am -      #38

    Oh and it still takes alot to break a SPARTAN’s bones. Adding to the fact that even with multiple broken bones they shrug off the pain and keep fighting until they win or die.

  39. Just A Gamer April 18, 2009 at 11:16 am -      #39

    **Shrugs** Fine, I see you’re point.

  40. the_man_with The_Answers April 19, 2009 at 11:04 am -      #40

    Alpha Commando, Halo is like 550 years from know, I think they’ve found away around the growing issue because apparently the SPARTAN’s enhanced bones grew because they were only 14 when they got the bio-augementations. I don’t see you say blasters from SW don’t work because our science can’t explain evey little problem with them.

  41. Thepocalypse April 19, 2009 at 12:19 pm -      #41

    @the_man_with The_Answers
    Science says nothing to suggest that blasters are impossible, it is proven though, that without an evolutionary jump in our body’s abilities, synthetic add-ons will not heal. That’s why a broken pacemaker or artificial limb will not self repair.

    Also, your posts scream fanboy louder than Expertimp in an argument.

  42. AlphaCommando April 21, 2009 at 10:00 am -      #42

    Now it would be possible if MC’s body was modified to produce a ceramic or a similar substitute, with which it could repair the bones; that’s totally logical. Unfortunately I don’t remember that ever being stated either explicitly or implicitly in the novels.

    And actually if you read, they had the bodies of the Spartans artificially aged and modified, they where practically biologically 20 when only the age of 14. Rapid growth surgery and genetic modification made the Spartans able to accept the enhancements and grafts without the growing issue in the first place.

    And like Olimar said; modifying the existing bone would be a better prospect; bone is incredibly strong for its weight, a better option would to have artificially stimulated growth making them freakishly dense, you would have gotten the same relative effect.

  43. the_man_with The_Answers April 22, 2009 at 6:58 pm -      #43

    Thepocolyse, haven’t you ever seen te SW tech shows? They clearly show multiple issues with blasters and half of SW’s other tech, espeiclly lightsabers and the Death Star and the spacecraft.

    Alpha, Wouldn’t you think Dr. Halsey thought about that? She is smarter than, dare I say, L-W. Why would someone as smart as her put that into effect especially because they grew at such a rapid rate.

  44. the_man_with The_Answers April 22, 2009 at 7:03 pm -      #44

    Modifying the bone is a much better idea still. But if their bones didn’t heal the ceramic, than how do you explain SPARTANs ability to take damage normal bones even in the suit couldn’t take and the SPARTANs have already broken multiple times?

  45. L-W April 22, 2009 at 10:03 pm -      #45

    “Thepocolyse, haven’t you ever seen te SW tech shows? They clearly show multiple issues with blasters and half of SW’s other tech, espeiclly lightsabers and the Death Star and the spacecraft.”

    Because the slipstream has earned the Einstein seal of approval.

    /Golfclap

  46. the_man_with The_Answers April 23, 2009 at 7:07 pm -      #46

    What does slipstream have anything to do with this Vs? I was pionting out that Thepocolypse was wrong about blaster’s not being scientifically dis-proven.

  47. the_man_with The_Answers April 23, 2009 at 7:12 pm -      #47

    Hey you never know slipstream might be possible. I would like to know a better way of traveling space. Don’t even say hyperpace because accelerating faster than lightspeed imossible because mass becomes infinate same with energy consumtion. We have Einstein to thank for that.

  48. L-W April 23, 2009 at 10:08 pm -      #48

    “Hey you never know slipstream might be possible.”

    Get back in the closet with all the other particle acceleration pseudo theories.

  49. Captmunch April 23, 2009 at 10:32 pm -      #49

    ok, salad fingers would die, first of all, technically hes 2D so yah master chief might have some awkward shots but he’d get it done. second of all, master chief is a soldier of an indescribable rank, meaning that whatever country he was fighting for, they would have an extremely higher chance of being able to take over the world. And by the way, the flood messes with your mind, anyone would know that if you have played halo 3. Theres no chance that salad would be able to mess with his mind. May i also remind you that cortana is in his mind too? There is no way that master chief would lose and thats final.

  50. L-W April 23, 2009 at 11:05 pm -      #50

    “indescribable rank”

    No, he’s Master Chief.

    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_Chief_Petty_Officer

  51. Space marine April 24, 2009 at 2:36 am -      #51
  52. Thepocalypse April 24, 2009 at 5:15 am -      #52

    @the_man_with The_Answers
    All they need to do is stabilize the laser propulsion and generate the power, it is not disproven, and you’ve made yourself look like more of an idiot by saying slipspace is possible and blasters are not.
    @Captmunch
    You fail.

  53. Captmunch April 24, 2009 at 8:15 am -      #53

    Metaphorically, meaning that if he were to fight against another man of master chief ranking, he would kick his ass because he has spartan training ;)

  54. Captmunch April 24, 2009 at 8:48 am -      #54

    And according to wikipedia, Master chief is a navy and coastguard rank, Master Chief is a space marine. So I suppose the question is, is he in the navy or the marine core? Personally the rank is no matter to me but the idea that navy evolved into space would make sense. Therefore navy rank would move onto space. Which would prove that his rank is technically Master Chief Petty Officer. But, Johnson is not in the Navy, he is in the Marine core, so is Master Chief simply helping out for the same cause, or is he a marine like Johnson. If he was then his rank would prove faulty to the designers of the game. BOOM! But now back to the point of this list of messages. Salad fingers cannot put up anything against a guy who stands at 7′ tall and aproximately 1000 lbs. He is an elite soldier, the best of the best.

  55. Captmunch April 24, 2009 at 8:54 am -      #55

    And no, i didnt get burned, to bad for him, he made a very general comeback.

  56. L-W April 24, 2009 at 8:56 am -      #56

    “All they need to do is stabilize the laser propulsion and generate the power, it is not disproven, and you’ve made yourself look like more of an idiot by saying slipspace is possible and blasters are not.”

    Ironically enough, slipspace drives use particle accelerators to breech the slipstream, which happens to be the main component in a Blaster.

    Then again you are discussing scientific principles with the_man_with The_Answers, who has the audacity to claim that a 200 gigaton nuclear warhead would somehow destroy half the Solar System, when all reason, logic and fact (Three words he is apparently unfamiliar with) point to it being incapable of even destroying a small portion of the European continent.

    He’s a dirt digger, don’t confuse him with science.

  57. kick your ass April 24, 2009 at 9:20 am -      #57

    ok, i have no idea who the hell salad fingers is, but all i know is that i 3 shot people with the BR on xbox live, so that fucking salad head has no chance, boom, no more head…MC would kick his ass, and Cptmunch is right, CONVERSATION OVER! GO GET A JOB AND MOVE OUT OF UR MOMS HOUSE!

  58. Thepocalypse April 24, 2009 at 9:44 am -      #58

    @Captmunch
    I love how you’re trying to get all detailed when everyone knows Salad Fingers > All.

  59. L-W April 24, 2009 at 10:02 am -      #59

    “Master Chief Petty Officer of the UNSC Navy”

    “Due to having no records to remember him by, the Chief’s Spartan ID number, 117 was carved into the memorial by an unknown party, and taped beside his number was the UNSC Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy insignia patch. ”

    “John-117 is a SPARTAN-II Commando of the UNSC Naval Special Warfare Command.”

    “Affiliation: UNSC Navy”

    “Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy”

    “Office of Naval Intelligence”

    - halo.wikia.com/wiki/John-117
    - halo.wikia.com/wiki/Category:UNSC_Naval_Personnel

    The rank of Sergeant does not exist in the Navy (Petty Officer is used instead), it is utilized only in the Marines, Army and Air Force. Thus Johnson remains separate of the Navy and Master Chief.

    Master Chief is not a Space Marine.

  60. Captmunch April 24, 2009 at 12:11 pm -      #60

    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_Chief_(Halo)

    ok here ya go, Character design, second paragraph. {In an interview on creating believable video game characters, Bungie’s Joseph Staten noted that, “Master Chief is really what kicked off the creativity,” he said, “in terms of how people react to him. He’s a space Marine in really cool green armor.”[4]}

  61. Thepocalypse April 24, 2009 at 1:55 pm -      #61

    @Captmunch
    That’s a general term for soldiers in space. People even call Ellen Ripley a space marine and she isn’t even affiliated with the military.

  62. PaPPa JUDAS April 24, 2009 at 5:23 pm -      #62

    “That’s a general term for soldiers in space. People even call Ellen Ripley a space marine and she isn’t even affiliated with the military.”

    They don’t call her a marine she was with a squad of colonial space marines in the second film.

    The marines are a branch of the navy so they use the same rank structure.

  63. the_man_with The_Answers April 24, 2009 at 7:10 pm -      #63

    The novels clearly state that MC is in the navy ok? In the universe of Halo, the NOVA bomb is 27 gigatons, when it was detonated in space it destroyed a moon and 1/3 of the adjacent planet’s surface. As it also states in the novels a nuke is more affective in atmoshere, hence the nickname “planet killer”. 200 gigatons in Halo’s tech is something like a little less than 10 times that strength of the NOVA bomb. I think europe, earth, and all naighboring planets would be destroyed, well earth would, the naighbors might be completly sienged though.

    Oh and L-W thanks for calling me dirt digger, I take that as a compliment.

  64. Cpt Olimar April 24, 2009 at 8:15 pm -      #64

    “Master Chief is not a Space Marine.”

    Well he’s certainly stronger than one becaue hes the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111one

    (couldn’t resist sorry)

  65. L-W April 24, 2009 at 8:57 pm -      #65

    “ok here ya go, Character design, second paragraph. {In an interview on creating believable video game characters, Bungie’s Joseph Staten noted that, “Master Chief is really what kicked off the creativity,” he said, “in terms of how people react to him. He’s a space Marine in really cool green armor.”

    And? What does that prove?

    He was based off the idea of being a Space Marine, but Master Chief is purely Navy. Naval rank (Petty Officer), navy training, navy affiliation, navy intelligence. Just because his initial concept was based around a Marine does bot override the overwhelming amount of evidence that states Master Chief is navy, through and through.

    “hence the nickname “planet killer”.”

    Too bad it doesn’t actually kill a Planet, or even the majority of life on said planet. Sure, you would witness a rapid reduction in most complex life forms, but the biosphere is far from dead. Not a Planet killer in anyone’s books. As I mentioned, this Planet has taken a 100,000 Gigaton blast far more powerful than the combined might of every nuclear warhead in existence multiplied by a thousand, yet the Earth and the solar system seem perfectly fine.

    “I think europe, earth, and all naighboring planets would be destroyed, well earth would, the naighbors might be completly sienged though.”

    This is why I characterise each and every one of your posts as being nigh redundant scientifically.

    Read the stats again you dunce, the range of thermal radiation emitted is no larger than a small European country, whilst this would certainly effect neighboring continents and the biosphere as a whole, it is several billion degrees too weak to destroy the Earth. It wouldn’t even be enough to destroy the landmass it was detonated upon, let alone “scorch” planets at distances of hundreds of millions of kilometers.

    You must live in Florida, since no one this stupid could possibly pass for a college level education. It actually borders on criminal.

  66. L-W April 24, 2009 at 9:31 pm -      #66

    “The marines are a branch of the navy so they use the same rank structure.”

    Despite sharing a close relationship, the Marines Corps is not a branch of the Navy.

    The United States Marine Corps (USMC) is a branch of the U.S. military responsible for providing power projection from the sea, utilizing the mobility of the U.S. Navy to rapidly deliver combined-arms task forces to global crises. Alongside the U.S. Navy, the Marine Corps operates under the United States Department of defense.

    Their association with the Navy, nowadays, is as security. The Marine Corps has its own Commandant which I believe ranks up with the Navy, Air Force and Army’s highest officers.

    Neither do they share the same rank structure:

    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._Navy_officer_rank_insignia
    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Marine_Corps_rank_insignia

  67. PaPPa JUDAS April 24, 2009 at 9:33 pm -      #67

    That is right If you are a marine you are in the Navy a special branch of the navy Called the MARINES that does all the same crap the army does while the rest of the navy is on the boats. unless they are navy seals who do the same things as marines but are more of an elite group but don’t tell a marine that.

  68. L-W April 24, 2009 at 10:10 pm -      #68

    I’m aware of what the USMC accomplishes, but they are run under a separate military administration. The Navy procures materials and transport, the Marines provide security and combat personnel, whilst the Air Force actually provides Marine airborne craft (Such as the Harrier-II) and transport on interim engagements.

  69. the_man_with The_Answers April 25, 2009 at 9:40 am -      #69

    L-W, did you read Ghosts of Onyx? A 27 gigaton NOVA bomb did alot more damage than what you stated. In terms of Halo’s tech, a 200-gigaton nuke would basically destroy earth, the moon, ad have some possible effects on Mars.

    Army-ground operations
    Airforce-supplys, Navy, Marines, and Army, with air support, transportation, and supplies
    Marines-Almost the army but uses the Navy for deployment
    Navy-transportation for marines but otherwise only used for supplies ad naval battles besides the elite Navy SEALs,which I comment are probably the most elite strike force in today’s military.

  70. the_man_with The_Answers April 25, 2009 at 9:48 am -      #70

    The only occurence of a multi-branch in the military is Sgt. Avery Johnson who is clearly in the Marines, but was in NavSpecWar(Naval Special Warfare) same goes for Sgt. Bryne. This is because of the ORION project, which was the SPARTAN-Is. Both Johnson and Bryne were in this project. This could also explain why johnson is immune to the flood. Bourne’s syndrom could be a cover-up.

  71. the_man_with The_Answers April 25, 2009 at 9:51 am -      #71

    Oh, and this could also explain why, unlike other people in the Marine Corp, Johnson is actually extremely friendly towrads SPARTANs and is always backing MC.

  72. Thepocalypse April 25, 2009 at 12:28 pm -      #72

    “They don’t call her a marine she was with a squad of colonial space marines in the second film. ”
    Not in the films. Viewers often refer to her as such.
    “Oh and L-W thanks for calling me dirt digger, I take that as a compliment.”
    That’s like what your mom tells you to say to bullies right before you get the crap kicked out of you and your lunch money stolen.
    @the_man_with The_Answers
    It’s a shame you wasted all that time writing out information that’s B level canon at best, but I consider C level. The novels are non-canon in my opinion.

  73. fooby April 25, 2009 at 6:09 pm -      #73

    why would they fight

  74. Baron Somebody April 25, 2009 at 8:42 pm -      #74

    “I think europe, earth, and all naighboring planets would be destroyed, well earth would, the naighbors might be completly sienged though.” -The man with Answers

    “This is why I characterise each and every one of your posts as being nigh redundant scientifically.”-L-W

    How in any way is Europe a planet? I mean come on, Europe, Earth and all “Naighboring” planets would be destroyed? Where in the solar system is Europe?

  75. Cpt Olimar April 25, 2009 at 8:43 pm -      #75

    I thought the halo novels were technically canon, weren’t they claimed to be by Bungie?

  76. L-W April 25, 2009 at 9:45 pm -      #76

    “L-W, did you read Ghosts of Onyx? A 27 gigaton NOVA bomb did alot more damage than what you stated. In terms of Halo’s tech, a 200-gigaton nuke would basically destroy earth, the moon, ad have some possible effects on Mars.”

    And you’re still an idiot.

    The Nova bomb uses an implosion trigger to generate critical mass at peak efficiency, the only issue with critical mass is that adding more to the burner actually dampens the effects of the fusion reaction, rather than improve it. Or as my physics Professor mentioned:

    “Trying to land a sixty ton Tank on a wooden shack – You’re building on an unstable base to start with.”

    The Nova bomb’s explosive power is quickly depleted due to the lack of particles or atmosphere around it when it’s detonated in space. This results in a much quicker release of energy, with the possibility of even further multiplying its damage to ships, planets, moons, and other celestial objects due to the lack of energy absorbing particles in the immediate space of the tertiary body. However if detonated inside a planet’s atmosphere, a portion of the total energy generated would be dispersed throughout the atmosphere. The density as well as composition of the atmosphere are the largest contributing factors when determining how much energy is dispersed in any nuclear explosion.

    Upper atmosphere detonations have proven that the ambient radiation emitted by nuclear explosives increases in particle emission only, not destructive potential.

    A 200 gigaton blast on Earth (Even using lithium triteride casings) is not going to destroy the Planet, it is not going to effect the Moon and it is certainly not going to even cause a murmur on Mars.

    You are utterly retarded beyond words to believe otherwise. Be quiet, and go back to occupying and wasting a seat that some other student worthy of the position should have, you are a disgrace to every scientific principle known and the field of paleontology (Which I deeply respect) is only going to suffer by turning out low grade students such as yourself on an annual basis.

  77. PaPPa JUDAS April 27, 2009 at 10:13 am -      #77

    Ok I retract my earlier comments in regards to the marine corps I was poorly informed

  78. Captmunch April 28, 2009 at 10:00 am -      #78

    Ok, L-W your a loser. Your picking stupid fights with everyone and forgetting the main purpose of the conversation. Master Chief would throw Ranch Dressing on salad fingers and eat him for lunch.

  79. L-W April 28, 2009 at 10:27 am -      #79

    I can smell the salt in your tears from here.

  80. Captmunch April 28, 2009 at 11:15 am -      #80

    you have no idea who I am man, I won state in Kansas for bench this year…Master Chief would be proud :P

  81. Captmunch April 28, 2009 at 11:31 am -      #81

    So i guess my new question is, is your actual life as good as mine L-W? Im a sophmore in highschool and I’m already on K-states watch list for football and vmi has been sending me letters in the mail like crazy. I’ve got a 3.9 unweighted with all advanced classes. Now I wonder if that beats some nerd that lives at his moms house.

  82. Thepocalypse April 28, 2009 at 2:17 pm -      #82

    @Captmunch
    He’s got a job that makes him more money than you’ll ever see at once. Also, its a sure sign of epic immaturity and an instant loss if you try the whole “My life is better” ploy. We’ve all seen it a thousand times. You’re basically trying to be a jock on the internet, which has never worked for anyone before and never will again.

  83. EnigmaJ April 28, 2009 at 4:43 pm -      #83

    @Captmunch

    You yourself must know that what you just said was sudden, uncalled for… and just plain stupid.

  84. Zach April 28, 2009 at 7:23 pm -      #84

    Salad fingers is possibly the creepiest cartoon ever. Salad might win by scaring MC to death.

  85. L-W April 28, 2009 at 8:28 pm -      #85

    “you have no idea who I am man, I won state in Kansas for bench this year…Master Chief would be proud”

    And? My penis reaches down to the floor, in fact the only way I can safely secure it is if I wrap it repeatedly around my leg and back up again. In fact whenever I achieve an erection, all eight pints of blood are drained from my body.

    Internet bragging is meaningless in almost every respect (Heck, I could be in a wheelchair for all you know) and only serves as a detriment to the individual making such claims. Now please, take your crying elsewhere, it’s pathetic to watch.

    P.s. You should probably focus upon academic pursuits rather than physical, since the former seems to suffer greatly in the context of your communication skills.

  86. CaptainMunch April 29, 2009 at 8:44 am -      #86

    you think im kidding.? theres ways to look this up dumbass, go on takkle.com and look up Brenton for football

  87. L-W April 29, 2009 at 10:32 pm -      #87

    “you think im kidding.?”

    And you have the audacity to call *me* a dumbass. Listen, try and grasp a decent hold on the language we’ve all agreed upon, before even attempting to even lambaste the intelligence of others.

    Now take your attention seeking elsewhere.

  88. Aerialbomber May 4, 2009 at 8:11 pm -      #88

    …Really? Master Chief has fought off Flood, Covenant and Setinels alike–Most of the time hes alone. He has lone wolf instinct by now. And, If Master Chief can’t figure out that Salad Fingers is going to kill him within, Cortana will yell “Chief!” And chief will shove a Spartan Laser down the creeps throat.

  89. PaPPa JUDAS May 8, 2009 at 11:57 pm -      #89

    MC would accept the hospitality of this odd and semingly harmless man and probably come in for some tea thats when he would remove his helmet safe in the knowlage that their are no covies or flood arround then before he realizes the danger he is in Salad fingers would start his random babbeling and just as MC concludes this weirdo might be more of a threat then he first assumed boom Salad Fingers is chewing on some vital part of his brain

    Or MC shoots him

  90. Spartan001 May 9, 2009 at 9:52 pm -      #90

    @CaptainMunch

    You need a life FAST before you drown us with your tears.

    You act as if we all should be impressed that you made 3 comments on this site, wheras L-W made over 1000.

    Oh, and i hope you know that there are like 50 brentons on Takkle.com.

  91. Dracosphinx May 11, 2009 at 9:40 pm -      #91

    Mc walks into the house
    Salad fingers: I have some… fish in… the oven… It’s right in the back… i can’t seem to… reach it.
    Mc shoots salad fingers in the foot.
    Salad Fingers: I like it when… The red water comes out… Somewhere over the rainbow…….

  92. Dracosphinx May 11, 2009 at 9:56 pm -      #92

    Marjorie Stewart Baxter… You taste like… Sunshine Dust. Hubert Cumberdale… Ew.. You taste like soot and poo…..

  93. Dracosphinx May 11, 2009 at 9:56 pm -      #93

  94. Dracosphinx May 14, 2009 at 12:12 am -      #94

    Is this a dead thread?

  95. x on May 14, 2009 at 4:10 am -      #95

    Hey if you have anything new to say its allways welcome.

  96. Thepocalypse May 14, 2009 at 6:35 am -      #96

    “you think im kidding.? theres ways to look this up dumbass, go on takkle.com and look up Brenton for football”
    Nobody really cares. Nothing was ever helped by someone playing football.

  97. Dracosphinx May 14, 2009 at 11:17 pm -      #97

    Now salad finger’s world is a desolate wasteland. Why? Probably from the Great War he always mentions. How would this man survive so long afterward without some innate skill? I’m pretty sure a nuke would kill MC but it didn’t kill Salad Fingers. In fact, he seems to rather like pain.

  98. Thepocalypse May 15, 2009 at 6:43 am -      #98

    “In fact, he seems to rather like pain.”
    Especially if it makes the red water come out.

  99. Dracosphinx May 15, 2009 at 10:16 am -      #99

    “The nettles made… the milk come from my… teat…”

  100. PaleoTyrantus June 10, 2009 at 1:52 pm -      #100

    I wonder how MC could survive the moral damage done by Salad Fingers, let alone that little mutant kid from episode 4.

Leave A Response

You must be logged in to post a comment.